Thursday, June 27, 2013

Paula Deen Has Apologized, Now Let's Move the Fuck On

When I was growing up, my poor overwrought mother taught me that when you did something wrong, you couldn't always apologize and fix it, but that sometimes apologizing is the best and only thing you can do in light of a grievous error. You might still be in the wrong for having committed the error, but even if you couldn't make it right or take it back, you needed to at least humbly say you were sorry.

Paula Deen has apologized and admitted that using the N-word was ignorant and wrong. Now, can we all just move the fuck on and let it rest? If you are still mad and don't want to watch Paula on QVC or buy any of her shit at fucking Walmart, then fine. Don't. But maybe, just maybe, that says more about your unforgiving ass than it does about Paula.

And also, I think it's only fair to mention, that old girl who started all this bullshit with her gold-digging lawsuit, worked for Paula and Bubba for FIVE years. Clearly, her dumb ass REALLY suffered from all the racist comments she was subjected to. A bitch was lapping the money up for FIVE FUCKING YEARS. You've got to admire her loyalty.

I have to say that part of my family is southern, and even my sweet old Grandma Peg, who was raised by a black woman that she loved, and who wouldn't harm a damn fly, was racist at times. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just being honest and saying that's how it was. And before everybody from the south gets all worked up, I am NOT saying all southerners are racists. I know many, many who are not. Not one damn bit.

And my dear Paula, if you happen to read this, e-mail me. I'll be your publicist, and I'll do a damn sight better job handling your affairs, for a lot less money. This whole situation should have been strongly and emphatically addressed a damn sight quicker. And, by the way, Paula, SB still loves you and thinks you're a good old gal. Fuck the haters. Haters gonna hate. That's their nature.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The bad painter here in the office is at it again.

He just brought in his latest work. It is some sort of bright orange Tyrannosaurus fucking Rex. I shit you not. As if it could be any worse, it’s on a bright periwinkle blue background. Jesus fucking H. I take one look at his artwork and I long for death.

Religious Shit SB Says to Ms. Moon

That’s what faith is, I guess. Believing in something retarded despite the empirical evidence.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Mean Shit SB Says to Her Idol of Greatness, Ms. Moon

One of the skinny young guys in here brought in donuts this morning. I just heard this lady I work with say, “I quit smoking last year and ballooned up.” And she really did get fat inordinately quickly. All of this went down as her fat ass reached for a damn donut. This lady has a daughter getting married next year, and she told donut-bringer-guy: “I refuse to be a fat mother of the bride.” If a bitch keeps helping her fat ass to the damn donuts, she ain’t gonna get any skinnier.