tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763301029040793092024-03-12T20:40:28.564-04:00The Famewhore Squirrel Welcomes Motherfuckers to Sarcastic BastardThe Famewhore Squirrel Welcomes Motherfuckers to Sarcastic Bastard. It's not easy being THE SPOKESWHORE OF AMERICA, but sometimes a bitch has got to sacrifice!
SARCASTIC BASTARD BLOGSarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comBlogger2850125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-85256019073596589142020-01-01T16:13:00.000-05:002020-01-01T16:13:12.677-05:00Color Dad Disappointed“Well it’s 2020. We thought there’d be flying cars and shit.”<br />
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Happy New Beer, motherfuckers!Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-82398122381163402432019-05-13T14:21:00.000-04:002019-05-13T17:43:13.452-04:00Just a Thought for the HBO ExecsI want to rename Game of Thrones, “Two Crazy-Assed Bitches.” Mail me my check, motherfuckers! Actually three crazy-assed bitches if you count Sansa. The men just stand around and look on in horror. Do you suppose somebody is trying to scare us from ever electing a woman president? Is Donald Trump one of the producers?<br />
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You won the fight Jaime. Now go and rescue your odious whore sister!<br />
<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-18596190812311982222017-05-27T12:25:00.000-04:002017-05-27T12:48:39.124-04:00La Mejor Response<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is my new favorite response to pretty much everything</span>: <i><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Bitch, don't kill my vibe! </span></b></i></div>
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<i style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Donald Trump, you fucker, don't kill my vibe!</span></i><i style="font-size: x-large;"> </i><b>(Too late.)</b></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oZOvPH6HQ70/WSmmdy7XhDI/AAAAAAAACmU/OMN6el4uhs88rczQf7fNU-dREhhGkiGPQCLcB/s1600/bitch%2Bsign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oZOvPH6HQ70/WSmmdy7XhDI/AAAAAAAACmU/OMN6el4uhs88rczQf7fNU-dREhhGkiGPQCLcB/s640/bitch%2Bsign.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-9231669624508099312017-05-27T12:14:00.001-04:002017-05-27T12:47:59.783-04:00Church Sign Re-writeChurch Sign: <i>There is someone who is happy with less than what you have.</i><br />
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SB Rewrite:<i> Somewhere there is a happy dumbass.</i></div>
Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-55201691964092651422017-05-27T12:00:00.000-04:002017-05-27T12:49:49.890-04:00Random ObservationIf you have a Fitbit in the Midwest, you're a fucking lardass. GUARANTEED.Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-24493865594216815152017-05-10T10:20:00.003-04:002017-05-10T10:22:03.740-04:00Anonymous Warns World to Prepare for World War 3I think everyone should be aware of this (see link below). Okay, let me rephrase that -- I think my two faithful readers should be aware of this. Thanks for your loyalty!<br />
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There are few groups I trust more than Anonymous. I certainly do not trust our government. AT ALL.<br />
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<a href="http://nypost.com/2017/05/08/anonymous-warns-world-to-prepare-for-world-war-3/">http://nypost.com/2017/05/08/anonymous-warns-world-to-prepare-for-world-war-3/</a><br />
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FUCK TRUMP.Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-79634751481039557052016-11-10T10:16:00.003-05:002016-11-10T19:55:39.081-05:00It was an election of the under-educated, by the under-educated, for the under-educated.And here's the main thought keeping me up at night: Donald Trump has "the football." Yeah, that's a great idea.<br />
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Heaven knows we're miserable now.<br />
<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-47720116459839477192016-07-06T21:11:00.002-04:002016-07-06T21:11:37.063-04:00The Purpose of Existence<b>I think we're put here to love each other, but then hell is other people, so good luck.</b>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-41834790348714753792016-01-27T18:53:00.001-05:002016-07-06T21:14:40.707-04:00Deep Thought of the Week, Month, Year. . . .NOTE: Look, who knows when I may ever have another deep thought. Maybe I'll only have one this year. I can't be your guru, motherfuckers. You have to think for yourselves! DO THE WORK.<br />
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<i>I feel sorry for cats, because they have to lick their own asses, even when they have diarrhea. </i>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-80433740825641329452016-01-13T14:15:00.001-05:002016-01-13T15:43:26.738-05:00Worst Album Covers of All Time: OrionI'm just damn saying . . . .<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--RnngwVdaZg/Vpag3t_opRI/AAAAAAAAClo/NDC6TsXqhl4/s1600/orion%2Bfeelings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--RnngwVdaZg/Vpag3t_opRI/AAAAAAAAClo/NDC6TsXqhl4/s320/orion%2Bfeelings.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Actually, I just watched a documentary on Orion, who I'd never fucking heard of, and it was pretty damn entertaining. I'm unemployed now so I've got time for shit like bad cable.<br />
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SB's favorite line from the documentary: <i>"Do you think they'd interrupt a Garth Brooks session for a tour? Shit no, they wouldn't." </i>Orion just got no respect--obviously those fuckers at Sun Records just didn't recognize glittery special talent when they saw it. Shit fucking no.<br />
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I also cried a little when I heard the line, <i>"At 48, most musical careers are over at that time. Jimmy (Orion) didn't understand that."</i> Goddamn it, SB is 49, and I thought I could go out and kick off a musical career at any damn time. It was in the back of my mind for a go-to next job. I'll get over it eventually, but right now, my dreams are a little bit shattered, and I'll have to return the sequined jacket and mask I bought on ebay.<br />
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Check it out, motherfuckers: <a href="http://www.orionthemovie.com/">http://www.orionthemovie.com</a>/ <i>because we all get enjoyment out of cheap glittery has-beens. </i>Okay, just the meanest of us do. Whatever.Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-57843488835926550412015-08-28T12:10:00.003-04:002015-08-28T12:11:22.281-04:00The Australian Government Is about to Commit a Heinous ActAs usual, I wholeheartedly agree with Morrissey, <i>and I am so sickened now. </i>See below. From the truly excellent Morrissey site, <a href="http://truetoyou.net/">Truetoyou.net</a>:<br />
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<strong style="background-color: black; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: white;">Morrissey and Australia</span></strong></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><img alt="Cat" src="http://www.true-to-you.net/sites/default/files/cat.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; margin: 1em 0px 1em 1em; max-width: 100%; outline: 0px; padding-right: 2em; vertical-align: text-bottom;" /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Morrissey is aware that the Australian government has decided to kill 2 million street/feral cats. Morrissey has commented:</span></span><br />
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<em style="background-color: black; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: white;">"We all know that the idiots rule the Earth, but this is taking idiocy just too far. The cats (who keep the rodent population under control) will be killed in a ferocious manner, using Compound 10/80, which is a gut-wrenching poison of the most unimaginable and lengthy horror. The people of Australia would never agree to this - but of course they will not be consulted, because the Australian government as ruled by Tony Abbott is essentially a committee of sheep-farmers who have zero concerns about animal welfare or animal respect. The cats are, in fact, 2 million smaller versions of Cecil The Lion. All I can say is ... come, come, nuclear bomb ... "</span></em><br />
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<em style="background-color: black; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: white;">siempre</span></em><br />
<strong style="background-color: black; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: white;">Morrissey</span></strong><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Pasadena, August 2015</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Photograph above of Morrissey's cat by Sam Esty Rayner. The collar is <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">not</strong> 'leather' (animal).</span></span></div>
Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-51866523944815600652015-07-28T12:58:00.000-04:002015-07-28T13:30:16.547-04:00Dentist Walter Palmer of MN is the BIGGEST CUNT EVER!<b>DISCLAIMER: </b>This is Sarcastic Bastard's opinion ONLY (even though it is totally on-point as usual).<br />
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Here is a link to the whole wretched article: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3177303/PICTURED-American-dentist-passion-hunting-killed-Cecil-Lion-bow-arrow-Zimbabwe.html">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3177303/PICTURED-American-dentist-passion-hunting-killed-Cecil-Lion-bow-arrow-Zimbabwe.html</a><br />
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From the article: "<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.2em;">Researchers at Hwange National Park had fitted Cecil with a tracking collar but it appears the hunter removed the collar and attempted to destroy any evidence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">An investigation is currently underway to find the hunter (found him! phone number below), who spent two days tracking the great beast after failing in his initial attempt to kill the lion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;"><b>Cecil was one of the park's oldest lions and was well known for his striking looks and friendly nature. </b></span><span style="font-size: 14px;">According to local legend, Cecil was kicked out of his pride and wandered alone until he met another lone lion called Jericho.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">Cecil and Jericho both had a pride, comprised of six lionesses and several young cubs, situated in the park. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;"><b>With the death of Cecil, the future of the cubs are now thought to be at risk. </b>The cubs could be killed if the pride is taken over by another male lion."</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><br /></span>And here is Jolly Walt the Heap Big Hunter's office phone number, where you can call and voice your outrage and displeasure: (952)884-5361, as I certainly will.<br />
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And, finally, here is a photo of the carnage (Imbecile Walter is on the left of the other grinning imbecile):<br />
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I do NOT jest when I say that I wish Jolly Walt the Heap Big Hunter THE WORST kind of death. Cancer would be TOO GOOD for him. And may Cecil get to devour Idiot Walter's entrails unto eternity! FUCK YOU WALT!<br />
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With hatred, spite, and malice,<br />
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Jolly SB & Cecil (who I sincerely wish had eaten you, Walt, you asshole)Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-11301127660899045812015-06-29T15:30:00.003-04:002015-06-29T15:32:39.142-04:00My Cousin Chris and I Had the Most Retardational Drunken Fight in THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD over the Weekend (excerpt below)<br />
SB: So, you mean you love unborn babies more than me?<br />
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CHRIS: <i>YES!</i><br />
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SB: Let me get this straight--you love a fucking fetus more than me? I'm going home, goddammit!Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-63621348041057446532015-06-29T15:22:00.001-04:002015-06-29T15:23:32.240-04:00A Conversation About Home Funerals and Cotton Balls<i>I've decided that if something happens to me before you go, I want a home funeral. You might have to shove some cotton balls or a tampon up my ass to prevent anal leakage though. It happens.</i><br />
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Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?<br />
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<i>Look it up, asshole.</i><br />
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<i><br /></i>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-41231964292268085942015-01-22T07:59:00.001-05:002015-01-22T07:59:18.286-05:00Two ASSHOLES and a Cat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-20504444533403903752014-12-18T15:39:00.001-05:002014-12-18T15:42:17.186-05:00A Discourse<i>Why do the fattest fucking people always own the tiniest cars?</i><br />
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Uhhhhhh. . . maybe it's because they buy extra food with all that money they save on gas? How the shit should I know, do I look like fucking Dr. Oz, motherfucker?Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-71215750459976358982014-12-18T09:28:00.002-05:002014-12-18T09:28:32.149-05:00Ms. Moon (the Idol of My Wretched Life) Asked My Fat White Ass to Post this Shit Again. Ho-Fucking-Ho.<span style="background-color: black;"><strong style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Grandma Peg and the Humbel Nativity </span></strong><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"><br /><br />My Grandma Peg LOVED Christmas. LOVED IT. She was nearly giddy with the glee of the damn season (SB calls it the Season of Darkness, so obviously my ass did not take after her. Also, Grandma had really big boobs, and I didn't get those either.).<br /><br />Anyhoo, Peg loved Hummel figurines, which she called, Humbels, due to a slight hearing problem. (Yeah, and Elvis was Alvin Prescott, as you'll possibly fucking remember from an earlier post, but whatever. . .).<br /><br />Grandma's ass splurged one year and bought herself the ENTIRE fucking Humbel Nativity. That shit was quite costly, as there is no accounting for taste, and Precious Moments figures were expensive once, too, right? Hummels and the Precious Moments make SB want to gag and bust them up WITH A FUCKING HAMMER, but again, I digress.<br /><br />Before I go further, I should explain that my tiny southern grandmother was known for her eccentric decorating taste (she even wallpapered the backs of doors), and frankly, she had some fucking weird ideas about what went together. Also, a lot of her house looked like a fucking French whore house, but to her, that was GRAND DECOR, motherfuckers. That shit was posh.<br /><br />Anyhoo, after purchasing the damn nativity, Grandma decided that her precious fucking manger was not showy enough and that the Baby Jesus should be spotlighted like a Barrymore in a play. After all, his infantile ass was supposed to be holy and worshipped by the animals and the damn Wise Men. He was THE POINT. He was THE STAR.<br /><br />Grandma rigged a fucking Maglite to the roof of the manger, and SB's brother, Steve, would not stop making remarks and laughing about it. "Jesus Christ, Grandma, the Baby Jesus is going to be blind. How will he perform miracles WHEN HE'S BLIND?"<br /><br />After that, undaunted by my brother's mirth, Grandma decided that the Humbel nativity didn't come with enough lowing beasts, so she bought some ill-sized cheap porcelain add-on animal figures that looked like they might eat the poor blinded Baby Jesus and worshipping Wise Men.<br /><br />Well, of course, Peg thought that shit was JUST GREAT! Her manger would be the envy of the neighbourhood! She was SO PROUD of that cocksucking nativity, it was unbelievable. It had pride of place in the living room.<br /><br />Note: My Aunt M. has the infamous nativity now and displays it every year, replete with the damn Maglite, which my brother still has to make rude comments about.</span></span>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-11105734475437180952014-12-11T08:31:00.001-05:002014-12-11T08:31:31.103-05:00When Will You Die?<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
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<b><i>Why do the people we hate always manage to live so damn long? Is it too late to swap Cheney for John Lennon?</i></b><br />
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<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2869337/Senate-torture-report-s-cr-say-former-Vice-President-Dick-Cheney.html">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2869337/Senate-torture-report-s-cr-say-former-Vice-President-Dick-Cheney.html</a>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-70717783210235539852014-12-05T07:38:00.002-05:002014-12-05T07:38:45.110-05:00A Salute to All the Assholes in Congress! Especially Boehner, Who I'm Embarrassed Is from Ohio. We're sorry!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-17oK-WQMcQA/VIGm86Gg9bI/AAAAAAAACjg/CPTrTRrXoQY/s1600/cat-butts-the-Original-Turtle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-17oK-WQMcQA/VIGm86Gg9bI/AAAAAAAACjg/CPTrTRrXoQY/s1600/cat-butts-the-Original-Turtle.jpg" height="287" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-35514446910344655062014-11-05T08:54:00.001-05:002014-11-05T09:03:10.553-05:00You can tell they are Republicans just by looking at them.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iLEpHLK05So/VFotkGB901I/AAAAAAAACjQ/PHRL2Sfm5b0/s1600/article-2821195-22DE42BE00000578-756_964x399.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iLEpHLK05So/VFotkGB901I/AAAAAAAACjQ/PHRL2Sfm5b0/s1600/article-2821195-22DE42BE00000578-756_964x399.jpg" height="132" width="320" /></a></div>
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Check the pictures out: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2821195/Republicans-way-victory-Senate-seats-two-states-hope-landslide-Democrats.html">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2821195/Republicans-way-victory-Senate-seats-two-states-hope-landslide-Democrats.html</a><br />
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They all have helmet hair and look like they have a goddamn stick rammed up their asses.<br />
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<i>Congratulations, assholes!</i>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-24860675688397850932014-09-23T09:12:00.002-04:002014-09-23T09:15:55.581-04:00A Bitch Needs to Check Her Ego, Not Wreck ItI watched Alanis Morrisette on Oprah’s <i>Super</i> <i>Soul Sunday</i> last night, and Oprah sort of
drives me nuts. She cuts in on her guests and always makes the conversation
about her. And she’s supposed to be so “evolved.” What the fuck ever. Can you
say Ego Queen?Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-11164643789706712482014-08-15T15:51:00.001-04:002014-08-15T15:53:23.276-04:00My Heart Is Heavy.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XPkh9JRUmWY/U-5kZtIap6I/AAAAAAAACjA/tHgXURUnfTs/s1600/robinmonkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XPkh9JRUmWY/U-5kZtIap6I/AAAAAAAACjA/tHgXURUnfTs/s1600/robinmonkey.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: 9.8pt;">All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners,
beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world,
all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then.
Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow; you don't even know
you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs in the drifts, your shouts
disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can
be. Home. The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin and a goal or
destination. And the storm? The storm was all in my mind. Or as the poet Dante
put it: In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood,
for I had lost the right path.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: 9.8pt;">--lines from <i>Patch Adams</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: 9.8pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-75429184523266515662014-08-14T09:36:00.000-04:002014-08-14T09:47:07.059-04:00Some of us think he's a patriot. I think our Founding Fathers would agree.<img src="http://www.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/edward-snowden-sxsw-lg.jpg" height="266" width="400" /><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 19.0pt; letter-spacing: .2pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; letter-spacing: 0.2pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“I care more about the country than what happens
to me. But we can’t allow the law to become a political weapon or agree to
scare people away from standing up for their rights, no matter how good the
deal. I’m not going to be part of that.”</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; letter-spacing: 0.2pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: black; letter-spacing: 0.2pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">--Edward Snowden</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; letter-spacing: 0.2pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; letter-spacing: 0.2666666805744171px;"><a href="http://www.wired.com/2014/08/edward-snowden/">http://www.wired.com/2014/08/edward-snowden/</a></span>Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-55606331327203060572014-08-07T09:51:00.000-04:002014-08-07T09:51:42.865-04:00This Morning's E-mail to My Idol, Ms. Moon<div>
I am reading Billy Bob Thornton’s book and really enjoying it. I guess
everybody thinks he’s weird, but he seems normal to me. Angie Jolie’s intro was
really sweet.</div>
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Sleeping all day sounds great to me. I love to go to bed at night and hate
to get out of bed in the morning. Psychologically, there is something VERY WRONG
there. Obviously my life lacks fulfillment. </div>
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I watched Jersey Belle and sort of enjoyed it. That Jersey chick is a damn
hoot. But they always stereotype Southern women, like they are so sheltered they have never heard a damn cuss word before. Also they are all into formal teas and
shit. I’d rather have a needle poked in my damn eye than go to a tea in fancy
dress where nobody cusses.</div>
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I saw that about the woman in Tallahassee. Couldn’t the dumb bitch just
have told her kids that she didn’t want to watch the grandkids anymore??? WHAT
THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE????? I heard the little brother heard the 7
year old say, “Please don’t kill me.” Jesus.</div>
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I have coffee on this end too. Kati Kati blend from Starbucks. Why can’t
those corporate fucks ever give anything a normal name? I don’t even like asking
for it. I’m afraid I’ll mispronounce the shit.</div>
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Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76330102904079309.post-40521956793415008112014-06-13T15:42:00.002-04:002014-06-13T15:42:56.632-04:00Quote of the Goddamn Day: Sarcastic Bastard<i>"Fucker was all strung out and Cobain-y and shit."</i><br />
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I'm allowed to quote myself, motherfuckers. I own the rights and all.<br />
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<br />Sarcastic Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com2