GROSS. Why won't this ho wear a damn bra? If one of my nipples pointed down, I'd keep that shit covered up.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Brit Tits
GROSS. Why won't this ho wear a damn bra? If one of my nipples pointed down, I'd keep that shit covered up.
Why SB Is Not Interested in Dating in a Nutshell
Hey there how are you so apparently [website] thinks that we would be a good match so I’d like to get to know you I want to say that I am not here to play games and I know what I want in a woman so I am going to write what I want and if it sounds like you and if you like my profile too then message me back and we will take it from there have a nice day and thanks for reading this and taking the time out of your day to do so I hope to hear from you soon. I want a nice down to earth sweet faithful smart girl who can keep up with me in a conversation I want someone I can finally be proud to take home to my parents and family and someone who will sit down with them to eat and actually talk to them I want someone also that understands that even though I am a nice guy I do have my needs and honestly I have a very high sex drive so I want a girl who doesn’t mind doing stuff in a committed relationship and can keep up with me when we are in bed last I don’t care about looks but I am a major major butt guy so I want a girl with a nice butt who doesn’t mind proving it to me when asked last I don’t care about looks but I am a major major butt guy so I want a girl with a nice butt who doesn’t mind proving it to me when asked
What Are You Having for Breakfast, Motherfuckers?
I am having a large (I refuse to say Venti, because this is America, and we speak American here) Starbuck's Cinnamon Dolce Latte and Spanish Queen olives. I shit you not. The combo is actually not too bad.
[Seriously, I once heard some doltish American tourists tell a tour guide that they speak American, and the damn tour included English people. No wonder everybody hates us overseas.]
[Seriously, I once heard some doltish American tourists tell a tour guide that they speak American, and the damn tour included English people. No wonder everybody hates us overseas.]
SB Is Still a Sick Motherfucker
SB is still sick today (we're talking physically here--not mentally), and I don't have much to impart. I am planning on doing nothing but some light house cleaning and lots of resting (AND DRINKING) this weekend.I went out to take the dog for a walk (in the perpetual-fucking-darkness that now envelops Buttfuck, Ohio by 6:30) last night, and I tripped over a curbstone or some fucking shit, and now I am not only sick, but also limping.
Old age is a cocksucking motherfucking cunt bitch. My dumb ass can't even take a damn walk in the semi-darkness now (there were street lamps, after all) without injury. Next thing you know, my doddering ass will be falling down the steps in my house, steps which are extremely fucking tiny (because the house dates to the 1800s) and not made for big size-10 Sasquatch feet like mine. The stairs are a drunken accident waiting to happen, motherfuckers. Mark my words.
Also, there is a sloped ceiling in the bathroom, over the cat's litter box, and every damn time I go to scoop the kitty shit, I knock myself in the damn head when I stand upright. I'll probably concuss mydamnself eventually. Traumatic head injuries can trigger massive personality changes, you know. What if it turns me into an evangelical Christian or some damn shit? Jesus.
CAN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SAY, "BODY OF AILMENTS"? Tis true. SB is a big fucking goddamn mess.
And that genius, Woody Allen, is right, there is not one damn recompense that I can find for getting older. Not one. And DON'T YOU DARE suggest that peace of mind is a recompense for getting older, because my ass does not have that.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I Love Pitbulls!
Actually, this pitbull is trying to say, "Fuck you Micheal Vick." Bet you didn't know SB spoke pit. I'm a multi-talented whore.
There are Pinheads All Across this Nation
It's not just Ohio. There are pinheads in Maine, too. We are not alone in our pinheadry. I wish we were.
I am (as far as I know) a straight person, but I am 100% for gay marriage and gay adoption. If you are not, please go read another blog.
Link to Ms. Moon's fine blog entry: http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com/2009/11/im-sad-and-pissed.html
I am (as far as I know) a straight person, but I am 100% for gay marriage and gay adoption. If you are not, please go read another blog.
Link to Ms. Moon's fine blog entry: http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com/2009/11/im-sad-and-pissed.html
E-mail I Almost Sent Company Wide this Morning
Subject: Thank you!
To whomever left literally three drops of coffee in the pot in the breakroom this morning, your appreciation of your co-workers is quite touching. Thank you!
To whomever left literally three drops of coffee in the pot in the breakroom this morning, your appreciation of your co-workers is quite touching. Thank you!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
This Case Haunts Me
SB reads a lot of true crime, and I am also the cousin of the head of homicide for a major Ohio city. I'm pretty hardened to death and murder, but the link below leads to one of the cases that has haunted me.
Warning: It is a child murder and not for the squeamish.
Link to story: http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/11/1983_murder_of_st_louis_girl_h.php#more
Warning: It is a child murder and not for the squeamish.
Link to story: http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/11/1983_murder_of_st_louis_girl_h.php#more
This Made SB Laugh SO Hard
My family has a mean sense of humor. This shit cracked me up. Dude is a total fucking dipshit.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Useless Fuck of a Dog
The funniest part of this video is the useless fuck of a dog on the couch's expression.
Link to Cat Dragger viddy: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924120
Link to Cat Dragger viddy: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924120
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