Friday, May 25, 2012

Shit SB E-mails to Ms. Moon

I have this older guy I work with who paints as a hobby and then brings in his tragic artwork and displays it on his cube wall. Today (laugh) he brought in a painting of a plate with two burritos and rice and guacamole on it. For once, I wish I had a cell camera. It’s THAT bad. I am a two-faced asshole and always stop to gawk at the latest work (I can’t fucking help myself) and then have to compliment him on his painting skills. Because, I mean, what do you say about something that bad? Who is fucking inspired by a cheap Mexican plate with two burritos on it?

6 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

"Bless your heart." You could say that.

Jill said...

I think I'd have to say something like "Now that's a painting". Cuz that's not a lie but he would probably think it's a compliment.

Kandake CimCiptivan said...

omg i wanna see so bad! UGH SB!

Big Mark 243 said...

LOL... but I think he would figure it out if you followed Ms. M's suggestion. For sure, I would ask him, "You know that looks like sh*t, right? I know I do and not only that, I don't think I am the only one that does, right?" And I would lean in with a knowing cant of my eyes in his direction. "Other people here also think you paint like your studio is found in you a** and you crawl up into that tight space (ironic, since your a** is actually a fat one) and paint from there."

"But, you see, (and I would smile at my clever play on words!) there is only one person honest enough to tell you that you have as much common with Robert Kincaid as you do with then man you know as your father, Luke. I spoke with your Mother and she said you actually share genes with the Mailman. Or the Milkman. Or the Station Attendant. Who knows, there have been so, so many..."

And I would skip happily away from his cubicle, singing, "Tra-la-la, la-la!" as gaily and energetically as I can!!

mrs.missalaineus said...

apparently he doesn't know that everyone can't be bob ross....



xxalainaxx

Lori said...

I wonder what he uses as his muse? A can of refried beans maybe? xoxo