If you have anything bad to say about Morrissey, please FUCK OFF.
If you have Columbus, Ohio, concert tickets so that I can meet my idol and worship him in person, please donate them, because a bitch is POOR and her idol is retiring in just a few short years.
E-mail me at email@example.com. I would be SOFA KING grateful. There are few persons in this world I would travel 2+ hours to see. I wouldn't do it for Jesus. I wouldn't even go that far to see the damn Beatles. But a bitch will make a glad exception for Morrissey.
MORRISSEY, I LOVE YOU! SERIOUSLY. LONG MAY YOU REIGN!!!
p.s. Please don't retire. I don't know what I'd do without you! I am already dreading it.