The Sarcastic Update

Thanks for all of your kind comments of late. I really DO appreciate EVERY SINGLE one. Please forgive me for not having the time to respond to each individual comment, as I would prefer to do.

It looks like I will be having some greatly increased work responsibilities under the new regime here (I'll find out more tomorrow), so I am not going to be posting or having the time to visit other blogs as much as I did formerly. In this cocksucking economy, I just feel lucky to have a job.

I assure you all that I'll still be around visiting and posting from time-to-time. Your patience with a motherfucker is appreciated.

Love,

SB

I Just Like the Damn Photo, Okay?

Elvis's grandson, Ben, as if you couldn't tell.

Shit SB Says to the Viking While Sitting on a Tombstone in the Local Cemetery

I enjoy the company of the dead a lot more than the living. Let's face it, they're way more interesting, and you can have better conversations with them. I'm a humanist--I just prefer dead humans.

Streaker Jumps in Public Pool and Clears that Bitch Out in Seconds Flat

The greatest part of the video is the eyewitless bleach blond ho, wearing the faux-designer sunglasses, and her mini-me child. Clearly, she is teaching the kid how to be a hot trick. It's Kansas, people! The only future this kid has got is as a damn pole dancer at the local strip mall.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1393890/Video-Kansas-streaker-jumps-public-swimming-pool-children.html

The Tragic Story Behind Resuscitator Annie

My dad was a safety coordinator for a local power company when I was a kid, so he brought one of these bitches home at one point so my brother and I could learn CPR. I couldn't put my mouth on a bitch, because that ho looked JUST LIKE Glenn Close. No way I was kissing that scary rabbit-boiling bitch. No fucking way.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1393184/How-girl-drowned-Paris-kissed-face-time.html

School yearbook lists Bush and Cheney alongside Hitler as two of the five worst people of all time

Way to go Russellville Middle School, I say! I couldn't agree more.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1393706/School-yearbook-puts-George-W-Bush-Dick-Cheney-list-worst-5-people-time-alongside-Hitler-Osama-Bin-Laden-Charles-Manson.html

I just got an interesting spam comment.

It said that they really enjoyed my quite polite blog. I had to laugh.

Shit SB Says

I find the dog swimwear in the ad distressing. That's all I got out of your post. I plead too much college drinking and batches of dead brain cells. Sorry. I have the attention span of a fruit fly. It could also be because I was raised Methodist. If the damn sermon is longer than 15 minutes, Methodists start to nod off.

What Garbo was REALLY saying in the post below

You American assholes drive me batshit, pretending to be happy all the time. I'd like to slap your dumb annoying asses upside the goddamn heads, and then, when I stop, you'll really have something to be happy about.

Quote of the Damn Day: Garbo

In America you are all so happy. Why are you all so happy all the time? I am not always happy. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. When I am angry, I am very bad. I shut my door and do not speak.I

I Just Like the Damn Photo, Okay? Garbo Even Looked Damn Good Old.

I'd kill to look like her at any age.

A new phrase I am tempted to use ALL THE DAMN TIME

One of our managers here at work, who is not known for his decisiveness, just dumped a project that I helped him set up (a project he volunteered to do) totally in my lap and then said: JUST RUN WITH IT.

I'm going to start unloading my shit on other hapless peons by saying JUST RUN WITH IT and walking away before they have time to react or ask questions.

Feel free to borrow the phrase. It is almost certainly sure to make your life less complex and also ensure that your personal workload will decrease.

JUST RUN WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Can We PLEASE Fucking Stop?

Can we stop referring to dead people as angels in guest books and obituaries, PLEASE? It gags the shit out of me. Referring to the departed as an angel is the most nauseating and unoriginal thing you could possibly say. You might as well say the dead person was nice--
that shit is so fucking un-descriptive.

[And YES, I know un-descriptive is not a word. Fuck you.]

Somebody needs to give this bitch a modeling contract.

So a bitch has gappy teeth. It works for the Jagger kid.

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2011/05/james_way_mugshot_poser_extrao.php

Just not into the blogging this week

I'll post whenever I fucking well feel like it. Not a damn minute before. My life is Groundhog Day, but I'm still alive. I just didn't want you motherfuckers to worry.