He Did It for Science, People! That Makes It Okay.

Very funny article by Grant Stoddard on an experiment in trying to fuck a Real Doll, in the name of science, below. It was nice of Grant to sacrifice to further mankind's knowledge base, don't you think? I still think the whole fucking-a-Real-Doll idea is yucky, and that's SB's scientific opinion.

I don't think I need to point out that this article is probably NSFW, since I don't think I have any dumb motherfuckers for readers and also because my whole site is probably NSFW. If you are, perchance, a dumb motherfucker, consider yourself warned.

Link to Nerve article: http://www.nerve.com/regulars/ididitforscience/sexdoll/

I Haz a Real Doll

Boring Donut Shop Guy

SB has set down next to boring Donut Shop Guy before. Who hasn't? My Uncle Ed was sort of the Donut Shop Guy in our town, only he hung out in the Brookville Air Park lobby. There's one of these lonely old fuckers with semi-challenged personal cleanliness habits, who reeks of Old Spice, in every midwestern town and evidently in every Canadian town, too--maybe any town with donuts (or an air park with free coffee).



Man, this old fucker's ass is boring. I made these same faces when he was talking to me. You just know he's a damn truck driver. You can tell by the dirty ball cap. It's lonely on the damn road, people! It makes you want to reach out to others and tell YOUR....ENTIRE....LIFE STORY....OF EXCRUCIATING FUCKING BOREDOM.

Say, maybe truckers ought to buy a Real Doll to travel around with them, and then they can bore her receptive plasticene ass, and she will actually look at least awake while you tell her the story about the naked woman in Arkansas flashing her titties at you from two lanes over during the early morning rush hour for the TENTH DAMN TIME. The added bonus is that the Real Doll will likely even blow you for free at the next truck stop! You won't even have to fork out for a damn hot dog and coke.

Spare a hooker, spare a stranger, spare your damn wife, truckers, and buy a Real Doll!

It just dawned on me how proud mom and dad are going to be when they read this particular post! Thanks for spending ALL THAT MONEY on my English degree, mom and dad!

Guys & Dolls Documentary, Pt. 1

I know, I know--you all are thinking--enough with the Real Dolls already, but SB is on a roll! Here is Part 1 of a very interesting documentary on guys and their Real Dolls. Best of all, our friend, Gordy, is in it. I still think it's kind of some creepy shit, but these guys are lonely, and they're not hurting anyone. At least I don't think they are. Actually, this documentary sort of gave me the sads.

[Link to YouTube page for Guys & Dolls documentary and subsequent parts at bottom of post.]



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGrB22_HK7M

SB Featured Site: Gordy's Real Doll Site

Uhhmmmmm, okay. SB never heard of this shit before, but it's creepily interesting. Read Gordy's Why Own a Real Doll? section on his site for further edification (link at bottom of post). Can you say: possibly a tad bitter about women? Some of the factors that played into this shit:

[From Gordy's Real Doll site]

1. When I was in High School in the 11th grade I asked a girl to go to the prom with me. She said yes. Well we get to the Prom and She leaves me almost as soon as we get in the door for a friend of mine. The girl with the friend of mine comes over and sits with me. She says " I told her to come to the prom with you so I could set her up with your friend. My friend did not want anything to do with her so about an hour later she comes back to me upset and wanting to go home. Needless to say I never spoke to her again after that.

2. When I was in High school in the 12th grade I asked another girl to go to the prom with me. She said yes. Well about a day before the prom she called me and said that she did not want to go. I asked her why. She said " My mother said that dancing was evil so I decided I better not go". So in my Senior year I did not even go to the prom.

3 .After I graduated I met a girl I really liked and asked her out. She sayed " Well I am really busy, but give me your number and I will call you". Well she did about 2 weeks later. She called me on a Saturday night around 6Pm and said " Hey, do you have any plans for tonight?" I said " No, I do not have anything to do tonight" She said "Good, I have a DATE tonight can you come over and babysit my son for me" Well that was the last time I ever spoke to her.

4. So after all of those bad experiences and many others I'll not go into I decided to take a break from the social scene. So when I turned 21 a friend of mine suggested that I go with him to a bar. I said OK what the Hell. I met a girl there and we went out once and had a good time. Then I called her a few days later and was going to ask her out again and she would always say " I am busy can you call me later?". After I heard that about 5 times I told her to call me if she wanted to go out or see me again. I never heard from her again.

Uhhhhhhhhh, your ass might want a Real Doll, too, after having Gordy's unfortunate dating experiences. And, don't you motherfuckers dare judge! We're not here to judge, people! That's the evangelical Christians' jobs, NOT OURS.

If you visit Gordon's page, be POLITE. And don't mention SB sent you! SB doesn't have the damn time to become involved in the Real Doll community. My ass can barely keep up with my involvement in the Cat Lovers community. Plus, I work a full-time job, and I have a damn diarrhetic dog to take care of! I don't have time or the damn inclination to start a Real Doll Lover's forum. So don't even ask! I don't care to be a damn forum administrator for topics like the best formula for turkey basting a damn Real Doll's sex orifices in order to make them clean for reuse. Frankly, I don't even want to think about that shit!

Does this shit below look like Ginger's about to give birth, or is it SB's imagination? I think Gordy's been hitting this shit too often. Bitches legs are all akimbo. They are too wide apart for her to sit naturally. I don't see how anybody can do sexy times with this. But AGAIN, we're not here to judge, people.


Link to Gordy's awesome Real Doll Web site:
http://www.geocities.com/gordongriggs/GingerBrookesRealdollPage.html