Happy Birthday, Pete Burns!!!

Yesterday, Pete Burns turned 50! HOLY SHIT. SB was late on the draw in wishing her GODDESS IDOL, Pete, many happy returns.

If Pete can look this good at 50, then there is hope for all of our pathetic common asses (if we can inherit enough money or whore ourselves out enough to pay for about a thousand cosmetic surgeries). I kid, I kid. Pete is one of SB's favourite people on this Earth, and I seriously mean that.

Pete Burns in the Buff

Actually, I think Pete Burns is WAY MORE ATTRACTIVE than Jordan. Look at the bum on him! I think Pete is GORGEOUS. Also, we have quite a lot in common. We both have colorful vocabularies and dig the glam.

Did SB mention that she is Pete Burns's NUMBER ONE AMERICAN FAN? I am unanimous in that shit.

Post for My Scissor Brother, Nick

Because Nick spins me right round.



Check out Nick's totally awesome, very funny, highly-creative blog, Sex Dwarf. Link is in my blog list on the right side of the post, because I am too damn lazy to copy and paste it.

Anyhoo, Nick is the kid SB never had (along with Ginger and the Disdainful One). He is good-looking, intelligent, and was a handful for his parents, just like any kid of mine would be. He is SB's fam and I love him. If he wasn't located across the pond, I'd hug him, and love him, and make him my very own bunny to quote a cartoon.

[Did I mention that I AM THE #1 AMERICAN FAN OF PETE BURNS? Well, I am. It's official, because that shit is posted here. Pete is a damn Goddess, walking the Earth and shedding the blinding light of his glamouressness on us mere mortals.]

Vote Motherfuckers!

In honor of Pete Burns, Queen of Gorgeous Glam, SB has started a new poll on the right side of this blog. AND PETE HAD BETTER WIN, TOO! (Or Mercer--either one--Pete or Mercer--both Queens of Gorge).

Pete, we love you, and we wish you a speedy recovery! We also hope you get some lovely drugs in hospital!!

NOW VOTE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

[Admittedly, Bobby Trendy is a tough act to follow. He sort of personifies the Glam. And also, Bobby HATES Howard Stern, and SB bets he is one happy motherfucker to see Howard indicted this week. Comments from Bobby T. welcome!]

Very Upsetting News

I've had some very unhappy news that His Highness of Gorgeousness, Pete Burns, is in the hospital with some very serious kidney problems. We wish Pete a speedy recovery! I will say my prayers for Pete tonight. Yes, I say prayers sometimes. So fuck you.

Link to disturbing news about my darling Pete at dlisted: http://dlisted.com/node/31182

Celebrity Wife Swap UK Starring Pete Burns

Celebrity Wife Swap UK is one of the funniest TV shows I've seen in a long while. The UK has all the best shows and the most interesting celebrities, too. All we've got is that dumb slut Paris Hilton.

I love Pete's reaction to small children in this viddy. SB feels the same damn way. What do you do with small kids? What good are they? I have NO MATERNAL INSTINCTS WHATSOEVER.

Yes, it's another Friday night Pete Burns Fest, people, wherein SB gets drunk and posts numerous Pete Burns videos.

If only I could get my hands on Pete's PA! PA stands for personal assistant you dirty-minded cretins.

Dead or Alive: Hit and Run Lover

Here is THE LOVE OF SB'S LIFE, PETE BURNS! Okay, so the love of my life is actually Her Disdainful Majesty, Mercer, but Pete's ass is a close second.

SB especially likes the part in the viddy where Pete licks his lips!

WARNING: The glam is blinding. Put on your sunglasses before viewing.

Gorgeous Pete Burns on Graham Norton

Here is SBs fave, Pete Burns, on Graham Norton. It's an oldie, but a goody. There's a bit of a sound issue on this one, but what the hell--you can still watch Pete's beautiful goddess face even without the sound.

SB Is on the Road to Being REALLY BIG in Japan!

SB welcomes the two readers I saw logged onto the site yesterday from Japan! DID I MENTION I LOVE THE JAPANESE PEOPLE?! PLEASE INVITE YOUR JAPANESE FRIENDS TO VISIT SARCASTIC BASTARD! [Japanese ass-kissing]

I don't feel really daunted by the fact the two blog visitors from Japan were logged onto the site for about zero seconds. THE JAPANESE ARE SMARTER THAN AMERICANS, I'M SURE THEY HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES or some shit and are now enjoying Sarcastic Bastard in their minds.

Did I mention I love Hello Kitty like the Japanese???

Actually, the two Japanese readers probably only logged on to check out my Pete Burns posts because Pete, like the Hoff, actually IS REALLY BIG in Japan.

SB's Beautiful Idol of Glamour: Pete Burns

Psychic Therapy with Pete Burns, Pt. 1

Obviously, I'm on a roll with the Pete Burns Admiration Society this weekend (see previous post). I ran across this clip tonight on YouTube, and I am only posting Part 1. You can go to YouTube if you want to finish watching the other parts, but it reminded me of another reason that I really admire Pete--his brutal honesty.

This UK program is of Pete and a psychic talking about Pete's childhood. It also explains the horror of Pete's plastic surgery gone wrong and why he elected to do something so radical and permanent in the first place. I found it pretty interesting.

Sarcastic Bastard Adores Pete Burns!

This is how many of you may remember Pete Burns, formerly of the eighties band Dead or Alive.



After many, many plastic surgeries, this is Pete today.



Pete is absolutely one of my favorite celebrities EVER. I recommend Celebrity Big Brother 4 (UK), which is available on YouTube and also Celebrity Wife Swap, also available on YouTube. Pete is one of the most bitchy, witty, entertaining celebrities I have ever watched, and he's my idol. And don't you hos hate on Pete because he's beautiful! You're just jealous.