Christ, Alain Delon Is a Good-Looking Older Man

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I was in love with him years ago. Who wasn't?

I Just Like the Damn Picture, Okay?

Lou Reed & Nico.

I like their damn music a lot too.

A Request

Please don't show me any pictures on your cell phone. They are as tiny as shit and I'm old and my eyes don't work for dick. I cannot possibly tell what the fuck your grandkid looked like in line at preschool graduation. Besides the whole idea of preschool graduation is RETARDED. The little fucker's got at least 13 more years of schooling to go. I cannot possibly get excited this far in advance.

Thank you.

A Conversation with Puppine While Looking Out the Front Picture Window

Puppine, there goes a school bus, followed by a nursing home bus. How's that for irony? I'm glad we're not on either bus, Puppine. How about you?

[Puppine licks her ass contemplatively.]

I Just Like the Damn Picture (for Mary Moon)

Quote of the Damn Day (on the idiotic Baby Food Diet)

This shit made SB laugh.

Yes, I know of two ladies giving this a try - both childless. It's annoying because my town only has one supermarket and my baby is very fussy about what she's fed - when there are none of the jars she likes in stock, and I've got to get on a bus I can't afford to go to the next town to buy her food, I can't help but feel annoyed that adults with teeth are buying and eating BABY food, because they think it will make them look like Cheryl Cole.

Adam Ant's HUMILIATION

It fucking happens, kids. Fuck you!

I have to first say that I will always adore Adam Ant and that the motherfucker still looks pretty good for an old fart, but HOW FUCKING HUMILIATING is old age, when you take the stage for a comeback and fall the fuck down and have to admit that your poor eyesight was the cause of your fall? Jesus fucking H.

I'm not too far behind the motherfucker, and all you young high-and-mighty motherfuckers have it coming. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY that I never thought I'd get old either, and here the once hot and sexy Adam Ant and I are, with poor goddamn eyesight. I tripped and fell over a chair just the other night (the fucking cats scattered everywhere in SHEER TERROR) and am limping about today. That shit is HUMILIATING. AND IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU YOUNG SNOTTY LITTLE SONOFABITCHES. JUST YOU WAIT! HEAR ME NOW, BELIEVE ME LATER. Some young, buff dude (like the guy in the photo above) will have to come along and help your geriatric fat ass up. And the young guy will be thinking something like: Jesus Christ, I hope I'm never a big goddamn helpless mess like your old fat wrinkly ass. [And that young man will one day be in for a rude damn awakening. And God will laugh, because he's evil like that, and he likes playing humiliating jokes on human beings.]

Link to MORE humiliating pictures of Adam's shoddy reckoning with gravity:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1391540/Adam-Ant-takes-tumble-performs-comeback-gig-London.html

As someone who had a cataract at a premature age, this story makes my heart happy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391313/The-bear-repair-squad-The-remarkable-British-women-restoring-sight-Indias-blind-dancing-bears-.html

If Ever Two People Deserved the Death Penalty

Maybe that corrupt asshole Rick Scott can cut some more social service jobs so that more of this can occur. Fucker.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391402/Father-Jorge-Barahona-murdered-adopted-daughter-claims-tried-poison-him.html

If you want to know why Americans are hated

. . . .watch The Real Housewives of New York (and try to catch the first episode that aired last night--shouldn't be hard--Bravo repeats fucking EVERYTHING). For the next three weeks, these dumb rude spoiled rich cunts are vacationing together in Morocco, and I have never seen such fuckery in my life. You can actually watch the wait staff's faces and tell they are thinking something along the lines of stupid asshole Americans.

It's a must-damn-see and a can't-look-away, like a bad car accident. It's totally appalling and it's a FREE-FALL-FUCK-ALL, cause I am into rapping today motherfuckers.

Snoop Bastard

Heidi Guenther's Short, Tragic Life - and Death

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/e/a/1999/04/04/MAGAZINE2036.dtl

I Dig Ed Schultz

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391116/MSNBC-s-Ed-Schultz-suspended-calling-Laura-Ingraham-right-wing-slut.html

SB says way to go, Ed!

A Bitch Will Follow You ANYWHERE

[Thanks, Mark!]

DUMB ASS

As if there isn't enough legitimate stuff to worry about while you're pregnant.

There is a smoking section in the depths OF HELL.

Clearly, this sign was unfinished.

[Actually, that's where the politicians would like to send all smokers. Bunch of persecuting freedom-hating fucks.]