Who Says McDonald's Is Bad for You?

This 100-year-old broad walkers her ass three miles to McDonald's every day for a damn free cheeseburger. SB LOVES the McDonald's! So don't you bitches be telling me it's bad for me. I can eat that shit and live to be 100. Count me in. RECIPE FOR LIFE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

http://dlisted.com/node/40923

SB Is in a Grouchy Shitty Tired Mood

And I don't feel like writing dick so far this week. If that changes, I'll post. If not, fuck that shit.

Tale of a Murdering Memaw

I kind of dig her. I wonder if she wants to adopt a grandkid?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1359294/Black-widow-grandmother-79-left-dead-husbands-hitman-trial.html

Quote of the Damn Day: Lauren Bacall

The other night I was going into a doctor’s office, and some son of a bitch came out of the building, almost knocked me over. I said, ‘You’re a fucking ape!’—screaming at him. He never even turned around. Couldn’t care less, this big horse of a man.

[Ms. Bacall has a hip fracture currently and uses a walker to walk to her physical therapy appointment. The Moms says young people today have no gumption, and I think for the most part, she is right. Ms. Bacall obviously has loads of it, and I adore her.]

Bourdain: A Man and His Meat (for Ms. Moon)

A One-Sided Conversation with Puppine

[Puppine (SB's small black cat) sat in the front window this morning, staring intently at a school bus.]

Do you want to go to school, Puppine? You could learn things like who the president is.

[Puppine starts to slowly and methodically lick her asshole.]

I guess if you met Barack Obama, you'd probably lick your asshole in front of him, too, huh? You'd be about that impressed.

I'm Stealing from Myself, My Beautiful Self

I read this old post of mine, and it made me laugh, so I figured I'd re-post the damn shit for you shiftless ungrateful bitches. I think my language is much cleaner nowadays, don't you? And yes, I laugh at my own blog material. Fuck you.

From the SB archives, motherfuckers:

You Know It's Almost Christmas When . . . .

Your ass has to chase a FED-EX driver down the street in your socks in the cocksucking snow to try to give him the package back that you signed for that you noticed after he left and was starting to drive off was actually for the cocksucker who formally occupied your dwelling place. [Note: This is the same cocksucker that you already have a package on your porch for that the motherfuckers from UPS dropped off while you were at work one day and you have started to contemplate opening and consuming because it's addressed from The fucking Popcorn Factory. This, despite the fact that popcorn is far from your favorite snack treat. You have just decided you will eat the festive corn out of fucking spite because you've had to deal with so much of the cocksucking former occupant's mail. THIS IS THE TOLL, you irresponsible no-forwarding-address motherfucker. You will not get to enjoy your popcorn.] Oh and this was after your rabid Diarrhetic not-right-in-the-head-half-blind watch dog kept lunging for the startled but relatively calm FED-EX guy at the door, but FED-EX guy was on his damn toes and averted tragedy by producing dog treats for said not-right-in-the-head dog and threw them into your foyer so that you could sign for the sonofabitching cocksucking package that wasn't in actuality yours and then proceed to run out into the snowy street in your stocking feet in order to try to flag the compassionate dog-treat-throwing motherfucking driver down and hand him back his cocksucking package that in actuality was for the no-forwarding-address former occupant motherfucker.

[originally] POSTED BY SARCASTIC BASTARD ON TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2009

Shit Madoff Says

I understand that Bernie Madoff feared that his attendance at his son Mark's funeral would create "a media circus," and he said that would be cruel to his family. Unfuckingbelievable. I am continually astounded by the shit that comes out of his mouth. Can you imagine having that kind of sense of self-justification?

What a damn coward.

The rich liked the money they thought they were making while it was rolling in, so my concern is not so much with their plight, but I am totally sickened by the outcome of Bernie's actions on his children. Totally sickened and appalled.

Some Good News for the Week

Link to story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1357443/OJ-Simpson-beaten-bloody-pulp-racist-jail-attack.html

I received an update on Dinh.

The information about suicide was incorrect. Thank God. Now they are saying it was likely an untreated ulcer that killed Dinh. He was even engaged to be married and about to start a new, promising job. I am just relieved that he was not lonely at the time of his death and that it was not suicide.

I will not be posting this week.

I just received word that a friend, a very sweet unselfish soul, who basically worked in order to send money back to the poor in his native country of Vietnam, committed suicide over the weekend. I had some of the best philosophical discussions of my life with Dinh. He was very wise, and I am heart sick. Please light a candle, say a prayer, or whatever you like, in memory of Dinh. He was a good Buddhist, a sweet soul, and a very good man. The world is a shittier place without him.

Thank you.

More Coco Wank Fodder

All I ask is that if you use my blog to jerk off, at least sign up to follow me. You're welcome, motherfuckers.

Some Damn Polish Motherfucker Is Using My Blog for a Damn WANK FEST

My posts about Coco's BIG fat ass were very popular with the wank crowd. Traffic is traffic. I guess I'm okay with that.

Blogs that Suck ASS

Link to trailer park food hell: http://blog.rachaelray.com/

This bitch looks like a damn chubby chipmunk, if you ask me.

Quote of the Damn Day: David Foster Wallace

Try as he might, he could not this last week help envisioning the inward lives of the older men to either side of him, doing this day after day. Getting up on a Monday and chewing their toast and putting their hats and coats on knowing what they were going out the door to come back to for eight hours. This was boredom beyond any boredom he’d ever felt.