BRING OUR TROOPS HOME! War is over if you want it.
Friday, August 12, 2011
If we weren't over there, this wouldn't have happened.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Praying Mantis and the (Luckily) Bored Labrador
The Moms digs mantises because those bitches bite the heads off the males when they mate.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Here I am this morning for whatever the fuck that's worth.
Here I am at the damn office again (I feel like I live here), sitting in my tiny glorified-closet-sized-fucking-cubicle. I sit here with little white fuzzies and cat hair on my black GAP t-shirt. How thrilling it must be for you to read this! I wear a lot of black. It suits the general mood (especially in the morning), but it's sort of a brave/stupid thing with 7 cats and a partially white dog. I also wear a lot of black because I'm a lazy mofo, and it combines with everything else I own.
So far this morning, I've already flipped one guy off on the way to work. Fucker dared to pull out in front of me from the mega-Kroger and drive under the cocksucking speed limit. As usual, I was running late, too. Motherfucker. Then the damn cocksucker proceeded to hit the brakes when I was on his ass, tailing him, so I flipped him the bird.
The Neighbors from Hell have finally moved their trashy cracker asses out. They took Darlington the dog with them. (All of their pets were named after NASCAR venues.) My ass is currently enjoying a few weeks of having no duplex-y neighbors, however, it's been too damn hot to really enjoy the deck at the shared side of the house or the BIG beautiful yard that I have not ventured into for over a year, due to the NASCAR cracker children.
I am currently reading the English papers and keeping a far-away eye on the events in London. I have dear friends over in England and am as attached to that country as my own. I spent a summer in Wolverhampton many years ago, just out of high school. I am very fond of England and the English people. The situation concerns me quite a bit.
So, there's a smattering of news this wretched Wednesday morning from glorious hot-as-Hades Buttfuck, Ohio. What's up in your neck of the woods? How's your damn weather? I'm old now, so that shit matters for some damn reason, although I have not yet reached the point of my former inlaws, who watched The fucking Weather Channel all goddamn day long.
I love you bastards,
SB
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
This is heartbreaking.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-familys-journey-into-heartache/2011/08/05/gIQAj47IzI_story.html
God bless Lauren and the Giddings family.
Sinead doesn't give two damn shits what the British Press think of her.
And she NEVER did.
On behalf of Sinead and all women who no longer look like their 20-year-old selves, I say: FUCK YOU BRITISH PRESS!
Shit SB Says in a Comment to Ms. Moon (SB's Damn Idol, No Matter What She Accomplishes or Does Not)
Why do we have to judge ourselves by how much we get accomplished for the damn day? Can't we rather judge ourselves by how much we enjoy the day? Thoreau would have said there was far more merit in that than in joining the damn rat race. Okay?
And also, I'm sorry, I know it's not the consensus, but I think Key West swimming lady is a damn idiot. Without a shark cage? What? MAJOR DUMB ASS. And that bitch is old enough to know better.
Shit SB Says to the Viking
Oh no you DO NOT. I don't want your damn naked ball sack sitting on my good couch. Put some goddamn pants on, asshole. I don't come over to your house and sit on grandma's couch with no underwear on. Where are your fucking manners? There are going to be SOME RULES if we live together.
[If you can't tell, SB is deeply in love.]
Monday, August 8, 2011
Quote of the Damn Day: Greg Dulli
[Note: Greg is from Cincinnati, Ohio, and was formerly a member of The Afghan Whigs.]
His dick is bigger than her. How does he get it in?
Yeah, I'm back from vacation. Thrilled to be here.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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