Jesus Fucking Fishsticks

Meet Norman the Briard. Bitch can skate!

Shit is IMPRESSIVE. GO NORMAN, GO!

Only in America

I find this disgusting.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1364184/Crumbling-30m-Great-Gatsby-mansion-faces-demolition.html

Quotes of the Damn Day: Shelby Foote

"If Americans were anything as superior as we claim to be, we would be paragons of virtue, and of course, we're not that. But we are superior in another sense. And our superiority comes from this diversity of the way we're made up. We can see a subject in a different way from the way a Frenchman or an Englishman or a German would see things because so many different points of view are combined in the one American mind. It gives us a view of things that's extremely valuable to the world as well as to ourselves."

"People want to know why the South is so interested in the Civil War. I had maybe, it's a rough guess, about fifty fistfights in my life. Out of those fifty fistfights, the ones that I had the most vivid memory of were the ones I lost. I think that's one reason why the South remembers the war more than the North does."

"There is something that is too often overlooked of a far serious nature than the usual business about drawls and accents and overalls. And that is we truly, having lost a war, know a tragedy that other Americans do not know or have not experienced. Certainly not until Vietnam. We know what it means to lose a war. But what we have gained from it is of more value than the people who won the war got from it. We got a true sense of tragedy, and I think that it counts in part for the dominance of Southern writers in the history of American literature, particularly in this century."

This Man Is Precious to Me.

We both come from old aristocratic Mississippi Delta families, and I named one of my cats after him: Shelby Lee Foote. The cat is appropriately gray in color.

If there is anybody I would rather have had a drink on the porch with (other than Ms. Moon and Kurt Vonnegut), I can't think of who.

I love you, Mr. Foote, wherever you are.

Sometimes I look like this bitch after a rough night out.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1362957/700-year-old-mummy-road-workers-east-China-excellent-condition.html

Who gives a shit? It's not all about looks, people.

I Don't Care if it's Popular or Not, I'm with Matt Damon

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1362992/I-longer-hope-audacity-Matt-Damon-slams-Obama-running-country.html

Obama needs to grow some balls. I'm pissed off about Afghanistan and his pussy stance with gay rights too.

And may I just add that I am not a particular fan of Matt Damon's. I don't even think he's all that good-looking. I'll take Ben Affleck.

I'm Tired as Fuck of the Charlie Sheen Coverage

Charlie will do what Charlie will do. I'm sick as ass of hearing about him.

Old Doc Young

I was talking with the Moms last night about the old country doctor who delivered me.

Once, he prescribed some nerve pills for the Moms, and when she came in for a follow-up appointment, he asked her how she liked them and whether she had experienced any side effects.

The Moms said, "No. I haven't experienced any side effects."

Doc Young replied, "That's funny, when I took them, they made my mouth dry."

The Moms and I think old Doc Young sampled a lot of the medications he prescribed to his patients. Maybe he felt it was his duty as a doctor not to prescribe anything he hadn't taken himself. Or maybe, he just enjoyed taking drugs.

We used to pass Doc Young's house and see him out mowing his lawn on a riding mower, with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips, in the near dark.

The old doctor passed years ago, but I still miss him. He was one of a kind.

Some Fashion Advice from SB

If your dumb ass is going to insist on wearing pajamas, STAY AT HOME! Wearing pajamas in public makes you a slovenly motherfucker, and you ought to pay my ass to have to look at that shit.

You're welcome!

I Just Like the Damn Picture, Okay?

Don't ask me the meaning of this fuckery, because I am not omniscient (look it up, you ill-educated, lazy damn dolt).

Shit SB Says

The Mormons are going to be so disappointed when they die and realize they could have been having fun all that time.

If I had to come to America for a long tour, I'd commit suicide too.

I love the band Joy Division, and I was reading an online bio of the band, when I encountered this:

Despite the band's growing success, vocalist Ian Curtis was beset with depression and personal difficulties, including a dissolving marriage and his diagnosis with epilepsy. Curtis found it increasingly difficult to perform at live concerts, and often had seizures during performances.

On the eve of the band's first American tour in May 1980, Curtis, overwhelmed with depression, committed suicide.

See it.

I swear it was funnier the second time around.

Shit SB E-mails Her Idol, the Beautiful Thespian, Ms. Moon

Did you catch Bourdain last night? He was in Haiti with Sean Penn. Good stuff, but depressing as shit. It makes you feel lucky for what you have. Sean has been there for a year now, and believe me when I say, there are NO luxuries. Let Bill O’Reilly’s dumb ass try that. Fucker.