People ruin everything.
Monday, March 21, 2011
As if Monday wasn't shitty enough already. . . .
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1368223/Was-worlds-favourite-polar-bear-Knut-killed-fame.html
Friday, March 18, 2011
Quote of the Damn Day: Florrie Fisher. SURPRISE!
All of you people who say LSD, if you’re emotionally stable it doesn’t give you a bad trip. It’s a lie! I was thrown from a horse and I had a laminectomy and I ended up in the San Francisco General Hospital. I was operated on by the same doctor who operated on the late Jayne Mansfield’s son Zoltan when he was mauled by the lion. Well, while I was there they brought in a straight B student, twenty-one-year-old girl from the University of Southern California... Well, when I saw her, she was in the psychiatric ward. She had taken a trip on LSD and it was devastating... One of her college buddies came to visit her and bought her a cube of sugar which had LSD in it and she decided to escape. The avenue of escape she used was to go out the sixth floor window. How was she going to do that? She took one sheet, and even on a king-size bed I’m sure you all have an idea of the length of a sheet. With that length, she had to tie it to the bedpost and she lowered herself out the sixth floor. So of course she dropped five stories. When I saw her, she was on a striker frame... This girl’s neck was broken in six places. I found out since that they have fused her spine and her neck and she will always be stiff. But it doesn’t make any difference because she is a raving maniac and her prognosis is nil.
[Note to you motherfuckers who read my crap: If you added a fuck you or two to this shit, it could be SB talking. Florrie and I have staunch personalities. I'm trying to bring back the word staunch.]
Florrie Is a Hot Mess, and I Dig Her!
"Uh, you made it seem obvious that anyone who takes drugs or let's say marijuana is seeking...is seeking some kind of, uh, mind satisfaction or that they have worries. And then you also stated that that they need psychiatric help. I don't think anybody who...I don't think it's necessarily true that anyone who tries pot needs psychiatric help because, uh, marijuana is very much like cigarettes. You have many kids right here in this audience who sit down and smoke or who drink occasionally and I think they need...if, if a pot smoker needs, uh, psychiatric help they need just as much psychiatric help as any other pot smoker."
Uhhhmm, say what? You don't say that bullshit to Florrie! Let the damn fuckery ensue, motherfuckers! Florrie is SB's kind of ho.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Elephantitus of the Nuts in Honor of Ms. Moon's Geography Teacher
I guess that shit would preclude sex, huh?
Scared Monkeys
The British press is reporting that there are Americans on the West Coast who are actually crying when told that iodine supplies are sold out. Have I mentioned that I'm often highly embarrassed by my countrymen? The idiocy. These same people probably voted for George W. Bush twice.
Thanks for Visiting, Jakarta!
My ass is getting some fairly sizeable hits from Jakarta this morning. Okay, I got TWO hits, but this is a massive upswing compared to normal. WELCOME JAKARTA!
[I ain't too proud to suck some Jakarta ass to up my stats.]
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I'm Just in Awe of the Damn Picture, Okay?
This poor Eagle collided with a semi-truck at 60 MPH. It survived and has been rehabilitated and released back into the wild.
The Latest in an E-mail this Morning to My Idol, Ms. Moon
I don’t know if I told you, but Mrs. Born-Again Biker from Hell, finally kicked the off-the-wagon Mr. Born-Again, out (he started drinking again). The landlord came and told me that the cops were called, and she signed a paper to get him thrown out. I was cautiously thrilled, but told my landlord that she was not great either. Well, last week or so, she didn’t come home to claim her kids, who somehow, the neighbor was babysitting. A friend came and picked them up and took them over to her/our house (it's a double) and then, she wouldn’t come home to take the kids off the friend’s hands, so said friend was out on the front porch, cursing loudly on her cell phone, and unfortunately, the front porch is right under my bedroom window. I opened the window and told the woman (angry loud butch type) that I had to work the next morning and it was after 11:00. She said she was sorry, but she was “pissed off” because her mother had Alzheimer’s and she needed to get home to turn her over, and Mrs. B-A was not coming home to her kids. I heard her yell into her phone: “We aren’t friends after this.” Understandably.
Last night, after 10:30,I hear yelling out in front of the house again, and I open my window to find said friend/woman and two men, drunk (or high), joking and horse-playing loudly, again right under my bedroom window. So I raise my window, and say, rather politely, I thought: “Not to be rude, but I have to work in the morning.” Said woman replies: “I know, I know, you have to work in the morning.” The men were also smart asses, apologizing exaggeratedly. Naturally, Mrs. B-A was in the house and didn’t bother to shut her friends up. I’m going over today to have a talk with her, and if it happens again, I’m going to tell her I’m calling the landlord. I was so mad, I couldn’t get to sleep for hours, so I am a damn zombie today. I could fucking murder her, and I rue the day they moved in. I had a gut feeling they would be trouble.
Also, I started taking vitamin D3, because it helps with depression, and got the dosage wrong, and instead of taking 2000 IU, I have been ingesting 10,000 IU daily, which may explain my recent bouts of insomnia. Great huh?
Friday, March 11, 2011
Whoever Reads Me from the Armed Forces, THANK YOU and Stay Safe
God bless you. I hope I make you laugh.
[Or, if you're looking at Coco, I hope you get a good wank out of it.]
Love,
SB
I'm still in love with Bill, too! And I'll fight that fat ass, Monica, for him. I'll give that bitch a BEAT DOWN!
Seriously, I am STILL in love with Bill Clinton. I think Bill should be president AGAIN. He'd straighten this hot mess of a country out. I don't give a flying fuck what Bill did in his personal life either. I didn't vote for his ass based on his morality. I voted for him so that he could do a good job as president, and HE DID. Bill is my favorite president and always will be. My great-grandmother had a lighted picture of JFK on her wall. My ass will have a lighted photo of Bubba, or even better, a life-sized statue in my entryway! You betcha, motherfuckers.
[Bill, I'm a fat ass like Monica. If you like the fat asses, give me a call! I'll be waiting by the phone.]
More Puritanical American Bullshit that Makes the U.S. Look Like a Bunch of Goddamn Morons
Even the damn victim thinks this shit is ridiculous. I agree.
[And also, I'm just grouchy because I'm missing Ms. Moon this morning.]
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