I Just Like the Damn Picture, Okay?

How could you not like Marlon? He liked to fuck with people, plus he dug cats and food. And if you were an especially good friend, he might call you at night and wake your unworthy ass up to sing to you. Imagine the honor of that!

My favorite Brando story is that Marlon was trying to lose some weight, so he asked his housekeeper to lock the gate to his estate so that he couldn't go in to town for food after the housekeeper left for the day. Sometime during the evening, Marlon got hungry for some McDonald's, and since he couldn't get off the damn estate, he phoned the local McDonald's and offered to pay a worker there to drive up the hill and throw him a bag of burgers over the estate wall. That shit is American ingenuity at it's finest.

I love you, Marlon, wherever you are. God bless you.

Words and phrases that SB hates. If you use them, you are most assuredly a DORK.

Hubby. This fucking word gags the shit out of me. If you use it in my presence, I will contemplate punching you, and then will look for the closest escape route to take my fat ass out of your immediate vicinity.

I also hate when a woman is pregnant and she or her husband says, "We are pregnant." Bitch will find out REALLY quickly on the delivery table that her damn husband is decidedly NOT pregnant.

The kid has good genes. Definitely.

Tuki Brando. Marlon's grandson.

SB is a HUGE fan of Marlon Brando. One of my most treasured possessions is an autographed copy of Marlon's autobiography.

I love Professor Ellen Lewin.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379405/F--You-Republicans--University-professor-gives-student-group-piece-mind.html

Another FUCKER.

SB hates his pussy cry-baby ass. Fuck you, Boehner. Fucking emo douche bag.

FUCKER.

Shit SB Says to a Co-Worker

The Moms was telling me that there is this guy in their mobile home park who records The Kentucky Derby and then replays it over and over because he likes to cheer on the winner. Uhmmmmm, okay. I damn well hope I have something better to do than this shit when my ass retires.

Quote of the Damn Day: Ahnold Schwarzenegger

I feel shitty when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm not competing, I'm not ripping off my shirt and trying to sell the body . . . when I stand in front of the mirror and really look, I wonder: What the fuck happened here? Jesus Christ. What a beating!

I'm with Ahnold.

Sorry, but I think she's built GROSS.

I wouldn't be caught dead on camera in a bikini if I looked like this. NO WAY. NO HOW. I know, I know--she's a healthy-sized girl. I still think she looks GROSS. Go ahead and give me a bunch of shit for it, but it's the God's-honest way I feel.

The Way it Is this Week

We have a new phone system here at work, with A LOT of damn problems, and SB is having some not-so-pretty financial issues currently. For this reason, I am a bit preoccupied and posting will be very light this week. Unfortunately, I likely won't have much time to visit other blogs either. Please forgive me. I will be back in a more full capacity, hopefully, next week.

I hope all of my blog family are well.

You are loved,

SB

Your Lesson for the Day: What Physical Beauty Is Actually Worth

It's worth SQUAT. So you'd better have some damn substance to back that shit up when it goes, motherfuckers. Got it?

YOU'RE WELCOME.

One of SB's Favorite People in the World; Not Least for His Suave Fucking Dress Sense

And don't y'all be making fun of John Daly either. He's a good old southern boy, and we share a hearty love of Miller Lite and cigarettes. Seriously, I adore him. I'll even watch golf if the motherfucker is playing, and frankly, my fat ass would rather watch paint dry.

I understand that Daly once opted to lose weight with an all Miller Lite and steak diet. The odd thing was, he actually dropped quite a bit, FAST. It might be the diet for me. That shit might actually be DOABLE. Of course the steak would get expensive, but I do have a source at the Ohio State Patrol office who could hook me up with some fresh roadkill. THAT COUNTS, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Shit SB Says

If you have a half a damn brain in your head, and I realize this leaves a lot of people out of the equation, growing older will make a grumpy bitch out of you.

[The photo is for Ms. Moon.]

Quotes of the Damn Day: Lou Reed

There's a bit of magic in everything and some loss to even things out.

Uhhhhmmmm, Okay

I'm sure Sarah Ferguson was just thrilled to sit next to Digby's plastic ass. Who wouldn't be, damn it?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1377245/Two-men-pretend-baby-Gay-couple-spent-21-years-carrying-DOLL.html

TAKE THE HOOKAH AWAY FROM THE BABY! Bebes should no have a the hookah!