If you want to know why Americans are hated

. . . .watch The Real Housewives of New York (and try to catch the first episode that aired last night--shouldn't be hard--Bravo repeats fucking EVERYTHING). For the next three weeks, these dumb rude spoiled rich cunts are vacationing together in Morocco, and I have never seen such fuckery in my life. You can actually watch the wait staff's faces and tell they are thinking something along the lines of stupid asshole Americans.

It's a must-damn-see and a can't-look-away, like a bad car accident. It's totally appalling and it's a FREE-FALL-FUCK-ALL, cause I am into rapping today motherfuckers.

Snoop Bastard

Heidi Guenther's Short, Tragic Life - and Death

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/e/a/1999/04/04/MAGAZINE2036.dtl

I Dig Ed Schultz

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391116/MSNBC-s-Ed-Schultz-suspended-calling-Laura-Ingraham-right-wing-slut.html

SB says way to go, Ed!

A Bitch Will Follow You ANYWHERE

[Thanks, Mark!]

DUMB ASS

As if there isn't enough legitimate stuff to worry about while you're pregnant.

There is a smoking section in the depths OF HELL.

Clearly, this sign was unfinished.

[Actually, that's where the politicians would like to send all smokers. Bunch of persecuting freedom-hating fucks.]

Another Useless Fucking Sign that Made SB Laugh Out Loud at Fucking Work, Which Was Not Cool

The Japanese fuck English up so charmingly.

NEW SB Feature: Useless Fucking Signs

Uhmmmmmmm, okay.

An Old Newspaper, Whose Name Made SB Titter

Fat or Skinny, I'd Still Hit this Shit

I think it's charming as fuck how Russell's grumpy ass is waving at us all cute-like. It's just impossible to believe that this dear man ever threw a phone at anyone.

Russell, call moi! We could hang out and eat fattening shit and smoke and knock back some beers.

I Just Like the Damn Picture, Okay?

Zach has to fight the bitches off. Motherfucker can't help it. Some guys just have THE MOJO.

Shit SB Says to the Viking While Watching the Oprah Winfrey Tribute

Madge (Madonna) cracks me up. It's supposed to be a damn tribute to Oprah, and Madge has said I or me about thirty-five times in her three-minute speech. That old queen is so self-centered.

[Later, when Diane Sawyer told Oprah they were going to plant a fuckload of oak trees across the nation in her honor. . . .]

You just know Madge is going to come back out and give a speech about how those oak trees remind her of herself because the trees are so strong and proud or some bullshit.

One Bewildered Idiot

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389727/Rapture-Baffled-believers-face-jeers.html

I cleaned the house on Saturday to R.E.M.'s The End of the World as We Know It. If it was the end of the world, I was determined to be jolly about it.

We Can ALL Breathe a Sigh of Relief

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/gwyneth_music_deal_dead_for_now_wI6mD2Tf1SJAKDlie0ebrN

I Just Like the Damn Picture, Okay?

No, it's not Sarah Jessica Parker--it's Crystal, that simian bitch from the Hangover II. SB's whole family is going to see that shit opening weekend. WE LOVE THE HANGOVER.

Don't be jealous of Crystal because she's beautiful. You can't touch a bitch wearing a stunning outfit like that shit, AND YOU KNOW IT! Even if you put your Manolo's on, a bitch will still rock that dress better than you.