SB ADORES Ruby Gettinger!

She's good Savannah people. If you haven't watched Ruby yet, check that shit out!

How a Dame Should Look

If I was a guy, these skinny-stick bitches wouldn't do it for me. I'd be chasing after this shit here.

Stupid Katie. Not Swedish Fish. Swedish DICKS.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1371815/Katie-Holmes-reveals-daughter-Suri-ended-penis-gummies.html

I still think this is funny as fuck. It's the only way Katie will get any peen. Bitch ain't getting it from Tom.

Motherhood.

Your dose of cute for the damn day.

You're welcome!

Der Fuhrer Much?

Vain. Dumb. Ass.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371622/Woman-close-eyes-blink-sleep-sues-plastic-surgeon-negligence.html

Yes, I'm MEAN. We've established that. But this strikes me as funny.

He WOULD be from Ohio.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-fused-chair-sat-years-dies-hospital.html

This may well be me in another 10 years or so, my fat ass fused to a chair. The Viking would REFUSE to feed me though. He doesn't want to bone a fat ass.

A nice lady needs help.

Article: http://www.sdasarasota.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2&Itemid=14

Web site for donations: http://www.sdasarasota.com/

Thank you.

Quote of the Damn Day: Morrissey

I'm doing very well
I can block out the present and the past now
I know by now you think I should have straightened myself out
Thank you, drop dead

[I was listening to this song, Something Is Squeezing My Skull, on the way into work this morning. It suited my mood perfectly.]

Quotes of the Damn Day: Andy Warhol

I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of 'work,' because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do.

Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, "So what." That's one of my favorite things to say. "So what."

[Note from SB: Fuck it or who gives a shit work fine too.]

She's the Original (Whore) Alright

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1371381/Paris-Hilton-doesnt-care-Kim-Kardashian-famous-her.html

Actually, I like the Kardashian kid. She's alright.

Yes, I am in an uncharitable mood this morning. Go figure.

This is quite simply amazing. Kisha Curtis is an asshole. May she rot in hell.

This dog survived starvation and being thrown down a garbage chute by a fucking asshole. I'd like to starve Kisha Curtis's fat ass in retaliation. Bitch could miss a damn meal. Wouldn't hurt her none.

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2011/03/kisha_curtis_charged_with_star.php#more

I just posted an update on this amazing little guy, with new pictures. It can be found here.

http://sarcastbastard.blogspot.com/2011/04/happy-update-on-patrick-pit-bull-left.html

Quote of the Damn Day: David Foster Wallace from Infinite Jest

God seems to have a kind of laid-back management style I’m not crazy about.

This is why I read the English papers. The subtle understatement amuses me.

Background: There is a missing Egyptian cobra at the Bronx Zoo.

Worryingly, experts say the cobra is likely to make itself know again when it becomes thirsty... or HUNGRY.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1370494/Snake-city-Deadly-Egyptian-Cobra-escapes-Bronx-Zoo.html

I'd like to shove that cell phone up your ass.

Nobody enjoys your personalized ringtone, but you, fucker.