SB has a fascination with albinos (or albinas, as they say down South, where my dad's family is from). We had one albina girl at my high school, and I actually have a distant cousin who we think is an albina. [This has not been scientifically confirmed, but she has pink eyes.]This albina cousin is a mortician, so since she is so deathly pale, she is rather startling to those who come to the funeral parlor to pick out a casket for a loved one. She looks like a damn corpse herself! She is also pretty startling in black, motherfuckers! And of course, she wears A LOT of black because that shit goes with the territory as an undertaker.
My albina cousin is a pretty interesting, if slightly nauseating, person to sit with at the family reunions. She talks in detail about the science of embalming, while my ass is say trying to take a big bite of fried chicken or eat a damned devilled egg. Whatever! SB has a strong stomach, and I could investigate a crime scene with a high-rise jumper involved and eat a Spam sandwich while doing it. I have at least two forensic detectives on my dad's side (along with the albina undertaker), too. So it runs in the blood. I am just thankful that the albinism didn't run in the blood, because then, it would take me EVEN LONGER to get ready in the mornings because SB would have to dust herself with bronzer from head to foot. I wouldn't want motherfuckers staring at me. It would make me irate and hostile.
Do you suppose self-tanner works on albinas? Just a thought. Maybe no one has ever considered this before, and my awesome brain power could change the lives of albinas ALL OVER THE WORLD! It could happen, people. I could win a damn Nobel prize or some such.
Starting us off today with our NEW SB FEATURE, our Albinas of the Month are a rather startling duo who could perhaps use a good eyebrow wax and some black mascara. At least their skin is not the pale shade of the average albina. The lady albina looks sort of mean and grouchy. Maybe she resented the photographer taking a photo, because she likes to pretend she is just an average person and not a damned albina.
