SB's Omentum-Reducing Fitness Plan

Since you kind readers (shiftless motherfuckers) haven't exactly been forthcoming with the dieting tips, SB has been forced to come up with her own damn fitness plan. I have been jogging twice this week so far, and I have run a combined total of 1.5 miles! Boy, am I tired. The only problem I have, is that while my omentum may shrink, my TITTAYS are going to wind up hanging to my fucking waist because I refuse to wear a damn sports bra.

I tried to run really quick tonight so I wouldn't miss the third rerun of Rock of Love Bus. You can't miss Bret telling a sorry-ass ho to get the fuck off the bus! Fuck Shakespeare. That's drama!

When I was getting in the shower tonight, I asked Mercer whether it was my imagination or did my omentum appear to be a little less hangy. Her response was noncommittal disdain, but I think this fitness shit is paying off.

I find that running is sort of meditative, and I can't help myself, try as I might, I usually think deep thoughts. Tonight, I was pondering a question that Michael (God of All Bloggers) at Dlisted asked earlier this week. The question was: Do you think it's okay to rinse and reuse dental floss? It came to me while jogging that it is probably only hygienic if you swish the floss in dish soap before the rinse, but then it should be okay to be a cheap motherfucker and reuse it.

Your thoughts on this highly important matter, people? We may all need to reuse floss soon in this economy. You can post your thoughts in the abandoned ghost-town fucking comments section if you like. There actually is a COMMENTS FEATURE to this blog, people. Please motherfucking use it once in awhile.

p.s. SARCASTIC BASTARD LOVES TO HEAR FROM ENGLISH-SPEAKING JAPANESE PEOPLE!

SB Is on the Road to Being REALLY BIG in Japan!

SB welcomes the two readers I saw logged onto the site yesterday from Japan! DID I MENTION I LOVE THE JAPANESE PEOPLE?! PLEASE INVITE YOUR JAPANESE FRIENDS TO VISIT SARCASTIC BASTARD! [Japanese ass-kissing]

I don't feel really daunted by the fact the two blog visitors from Japan were logged onto the site for about zero seconds. THE JAPANESE ARE SMARTER THAN AMERICANS, I'M SURE THEY HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES or some shit and are now enjoying Sarcastic Bastard in their minds.

Did I mention I love Hello Kitty like the Japanese???

Actually, the two Japanese readers probably only logged on to check out my Pete Burns posts because Pete, like the Hoff, actually IS REALLY BIG in Japan.