Quote of the Damn Day: Ms. Moon on Bob Fucking Dylan

I couldn't understand a damn word he sang.

Entire post-concert review here: http://www.blessourhearts.net/2010/10/oh-for-christs-sake.html

Joe from the IT Department

When I was younger and working for TRW, I used to put A LOT of effort into the way I looked. I actually cared in those days, motherfuckers! I did my hair everysingledamnday and wore a lot of fancy makeup and shit.

Well, the week that I came back from my honeymoon to work, I was running EXTREMELY late one morning and made it to work with my hair looking somewhat akin to a bird's nest and with VERY LITTLE makeup on. This bitch was a damn fright fest, motherfuckers!

Anyhoo, I was sitting outside on break that morning, and my buddy Joe from the IT Department, plopped down next to me. He took one long look at me, sighed, and said: "Already letting ourselves go, are we? That happens after you get married."

My Family Is Here this Morning--Welcome Moon-Thigpens!

Yes, I am reading the tracker again.

Good morning, whichever Moon-Thigpen is here! I love y'all. Thanks for reading my shit!!!!!

Shit SB Says While Stranded at Sears, a Store My Entire Family DESPISES Heartily

[Said while waiting with the Viking for a damn optical appointment (for him--NOT me) in the vast optical department with 1-1/2 total employees. The guy at the glasses fitting booth, ironically, had trouble seeing, so it took him about an hour to enter the damn information for the sale in the computer. For this reason, said guy only counts as half an employee.]

SB to the Viking: I'm getting bored. I'm going to go check out the slutty lingerie.

[After returning about two minutes later.]

Their slutty lingerie sucks. That shit looks like something you'd see in the window at the 25 cent peep show downtown. My conclusion? Sears is for old ladies and dime store hookers.

Note to the motherfuckers who read my shit: My Uncle Gene hates the Sears (this is a whole other story for another day) to the extent that we used to buy him X-mas presents and put them in a Sears gift box, just to get him all worked up. I don't shop at Sears, because Gene HATES the Sears. It's a family loyalty thing. Lose one of us motherfuckers, lose us ALL! The really fun part is that the Viking worked for Sears for years. I can't wait to tell Gene this fact.

Only In Savannah

I hope Mr. Tracy wins his girl back. I find the end note on his sign, "p.s. I'm a DUMBASS," particularly winning.

Link: http://savannahnow.com/latest-news/2010-10-10/savannah-man-stands-georgetown-intersection-girlfriends-forgiveness

Shit SB Says

Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

Shit SB Says in Comments to Her Good Buddy, Jenn

October wouldn't be shit without black cat art! I love your choices. Also, I love black cats. I've had 3 so far.

Bella Puppini is my current black cat, and she is a damn pistol. Of course, this time of year, that bitch is on the down-low. People be wanting to steal her ass and use her in their evil Satanic ceremonies and shit.

Jenn is one of SB's first blogging buddies. Check out her fabulous Black Cat Art post, motherfuckers. Here is the link for all you lazy bitches. You know who you are! http://thewitcontinuum.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/what-would-october-be-without-some-black-cat-art/

More Shit SB Says to the Lovely Ms. Moon

You just like who you like. I've had that happen lots in my life. I also instantly DISLIKE a few people. The Moms always says: Some people will like you no matter what, and some people will dislike you no matter what. Who gives a shit? It all works out.

Shit SB Says in Blog Comments

Kids frighten me. I don't know what to say to them. I have to get very drunk on Halloween just to manage to pass out candy to the little costumed freaks. I was excited that last year, feeling tipsy, I finally bravely managed to mumble "Have fun!" to one of the bastards. You live, you grow.

Because He's a Really Nice Guy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1318516/Johnny-Depps-surprise-visit-London-primary-school-Captain-Jack-Sparrow.html

MORE Shit SB Says to Her Idol, Ms. Moon

That plot of garden looks mighty neat and tidy, and Mr. Moon did a fine job, but like you, I'm not neat and tidy. My ex used to get MAD because I have a method of mowing the lawn that is less than tidy. I called it: interpretive mowing. I enjoyed just pushing the mower around, wherever the spirit moved me. We wound up with some interesting patterns. Sometimes, it looked like some Aztec cave-drawing shit.

Shit SB Types to Her Idol of Fucking GREATNESS, Ms. Moon

I like it, too. I adore Yoko, always have. [In reference to a photo of Yoko and Gaga's dumb ass.]

I DESPISE Gaga though. She just fucking gags me. I saw her in an interview, and she has clearly been lobotomized or some shit. Maybe she's a damn space alien, like Jesus. [Daddums has a book entitled, "Why Jesus Was a Space Alien." I shit you not. I figure it makes about as much sense as anything else. And, actually, it would explain ONE HELL OF A LOT.]

WELL, WOULDN'T IT?

p.s. If I have to poo, I always use the Daddums' bathroom, because he has such interesting reading material. It beats the Moms' Woman's Day crappola, hands down.

SB Is Alive, but Fucking Behind as Fuck Fucking Fuck

Thanks to all you motherfuckers who commented in the last handful of days. I missed two days of work this week and had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I am a bit behind with blogging (and A LOT behind on the paying job). A bitch must catch up the paying shit first.

Excuse my absence on your blogs this week, I will catch up when I am able.

Love to all my motherfuckers,

SB

This Is Some Fucked Up Chagall-Like Shit Raht Here

There's that floating goat and shit in the famous Chagall painting--you remember (unless you're an ill-educated cretinous fuck)--but floating dogs and babies? Somebody done ripped Chagall's ass off! Oh well. Fucker's dead.

RIP OFF!

I'd Still Hit that Shit

Pierce is still my favorite James Bond. Hands down. Daniel Craig, my ass.

Maybe I can write the next Bond movie especially for Pierce. I shall entitle that shit: Diet Another Day. [I know that was corny as shit, but Ms. Moon says I'm a genius, so fuck you.]