Another Shitty-Assed Album Cover

Ken's ass is special. He won't sing just any old song for you sorry-assed motherfuckers. A bitch has got to request that shit in advance!

On a side note, I think Ken could use a stylist. Leisure suits and porn staches went out in the 70s. Ladies, I'll bet Kenny boy has a sideline offering mustache rides (by request only, bitches!).

And yes, Grandma Peg, somebody's mind is in the gutter this morning. Guilty!

The World's Worst Album Covers

I expect they need one member who can see so the other two don't fall off the stage. Also, the Braillette in gold has some fucked up teefs. If a bitch is going to be on a damn album cover, you'd think the record company would shell out for some damn dentistry.

A bitch is already blind goddammit, she should at least have purdy teefs!

Shit SB Says About Her Favorite Cereal

That shit is magically delicious!

The Tale of Resurrection Mary

One of my favorite ghostly encounters. A bitch wants to dance. Give her ass a ride!

http://www.prairieghosts.com/jerryp.html

I Just Like the Damn Photo, Okay?

The One Amish Motherfucker Who Knows How to Throw Down

SB would hang with this Amish. Clearly, motherfucker's Amish ass can throw down! I wouldn't hang with the other bitches though--mostly because motherfuckers don't drink and swear, and they're not liberal with the sexy times. Also the backwards bitches like to make quilts and cheese and woodcrafts and shit. BORING. Fuckers enjoy raising barns, for christsakes. All this = NO GODDAMN FUN.

And I had fucking well BETTER NOT be getting any Amish hate mail about this. You damn Amish aren't supposed to have computers. That electronic shit is the work of the Devil! Girl, you know it's true.

Depression Can Make Us Sad

I just encountered an article entitled, Depression Can Make Us Sad. No shit, motherfucker. The guy probably did YEARS of research to back that up.

Going to Lexington Tomorrow to the UGA/KY Football Game

[Here's a photo of VIII for all you thankless bitches!]
If any of you motherfuckers live around Lexington, KY, or are going to the game, you can buy my ass a drank.

GO DAWGS!

Dr. Hans Holzer Will Get to Test His Own Theory

Hans Holzer was a famous parapsychologist who died recently. I found his ideas interesting. [I'm not saying I believe this theory (I guess I don't find it more improbable than anything else), just that I find it of interest. Actually, I find anything about the afterlife or parapsychology of interest.]

According to Dr. Holzer [the bad news, in SB's view, is that we can't even escape fucking bureaucracy in death]:

“You’ll notice that the other side of life is a bureaucracy just like this one. You can’t just call Uncle Frank [who’s still living]. You have to get permission from a group of people who call themselves guides – spirit guides. They will say, ‘Why do you want to make contact? What’s your purpose?’ And if they approve of it, they’ll say, ‘Okay, find yourself a medium somewhere, speak with them, and they will make contact for you.’ Or if you’re that strong, you can try to make contact yourself.

“And if you don’t like where you are after a while -- you may have a consciousness that you’ve been there a certain period and feel that you would rather be back on the other side with friends and loved ones. You’ll say, ‘I’d like to get reborn again.’ These are the words I got from them, they’re not my invention. They [the spirits] said you have to go to a line, and you have to register with the clerk. ‘Clerk’ is the word they used. So you get in line and register with the clerk that you want to go back. The clerk says, ‘Okay, I’ll let you know when I find an appropriate couple for you that will advance your development.’ They have no real sense of time, so they just stand there, and eventually the clerk will say, ‘I’ve got a couple for you.’

“There is a well and they [the spirit about to go back] must walk through that well. They call it ‘The Well of Forgetfulness.’ They are sprayed with this water – not 100%, it never quite covers everything. That’s why people have memories, dejá vu experiences, and recurrent dreams. And then they are a baby again.

“What I have learned in my investigations is that there are seven levels of consciousness on the other side of life that are concentric with our world. It’s not up or down, it’s just concentric. We can’t see it because it moves at a different rate of speed than we move.”

“There’s three levels when you are born. You are born with a physical outer body, a duplicate inner body, and at the very moment of birth – that’s very important – the moment the child is supposed to see the light [during childbirth], that is when the soul or the spirit is inserted from the pool of available spirits from the other side. Therefore all this nonsense about abortion killing a child is pure lies, pure nonsense. The fetus, until the spirit of the child is inserted, is a physical part of the mother. It does not have any life – it’s not a separate entity.”

Quote of the Damn Day: Mark Twain

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Two of SB's Favorite Musical Artists

If you have something negative to say, I don't want to hear it. Fuck you.

A Rebel at the Damn Sexist Lutheran Church

When SB used to be roped into attending a Lutheran church with her ex-husband, they always had sections where the congregation was divided into the men and the women to do a response reading. Shit pissed me off. That bullshit was SEXIST AS FUCK. To prove a damn point, my ass read with the men.

SB is a DEFIANT MOTHERFUCKER, like Steve McQueen and John Mellencamp. It's a Midwestern thang, bitches! If you're not from the Midwest, your dumb ass will not understand.

Shit SB Says

White men can't jump and they suck at reggae.

More Shit SB Says

When you say I WON'T HAVE IT (and mean it), it illustrates to motherfuckers that you in charge of your own personal ship. YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN, BY GOD, AND YOU WILL NOT BE FUCKED WITH!

[So don't even try it, you dink-dicked lesser-thans.]

Shit SB Says in a Damn E-mail to Ms. Moon

FUCK THAT SHIT is right. He already e-mailed me to be sure I wasn't still mad at him. I told his ass that it hurt my damn feelings. IT DID. I'm very sensitive for a bastard.

I don't know what I'll do with Ginger. If it is THE CANCER, she's too damn old to do a lot of treatment. I won't have it. I love that phrase. I WON'T HAVE IT. I say that a lot lately. That shit is multi-purpose. If you say it very determinedly, motherfuckers listen up.