More Shit SB Says in Comments on My New Friend Danny's Site

I love your programme idea. I'd watch it, man. I once had an idea for a Manson Family Thanksgiving programme. Instead of carving the turkey, Manson would carve swastikas on the guests' foreheads. What do you think?

[Note to the short-bus Americans who read my crap: Programme is the proper was to spell the word program. It refers to a TV show in this case.]

Danny's eclectic site (SB recommended, motherfuckers!):
http://downedalbitros.blogspot.com/?zx=8e9e32af48100583

Shit SB Says in Comments to a Dear Friend

That's exciting about hanging out with the Ghost Adventures cast. The paranormal fascinates me. I watch a lot of those types of shows. I have even experienced a few minor things myself (my house is very old), but maybe I was just drunk.

Having a Fight with a Dickless Wonder Over at Anna's Blog

Anonymous,
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

And, if fat people have to stick together, I think peanut-sized nutsacks should have to hang together, too. Your challenge is to go and find that group.

November 17, 2010 8:55 AM

A Most Perplexing Question to Ponder

Why is it that the fattest motherfuckers drive the smallest fucking cars?

[Bet my ass the guy in the post below drives a damn Speck. Is it some sort of strange natural law of attraction: people + fat = inordinately small automobiles? It takes nearly a yogic miracle for one of the fat guys here at work just to exit his damn car. Of course I have to watch. You would, too, and you DAMN WELL know it! That shit is a marvel.]

If any of you geniuses can answer this shit, leave it in the comments.

NEW SB Feature! If I Could Do that Shit All Over Again (or Life Tips for You Ingrateful Young Useless Fucks)

Fuck more (but wear a damn condom, you dumb little bastards) while you still have the energy and no beer gut, hangy skin, or saggy damn titties. I enjoy running around naked now, but no one wants to see that shit [at least no one who wants to keep their eyesight].

You're welcome.

Dude Is Having One Motherfucker of a Night

We've all been there, so don't be judging this poor dolt, you lofty-ass motherfuckers. You know you've been in similar circumstances, and your ass just got lucky. The pigs (make that any authority figure) make SB's ass nervous, so it COULD HAVE happened to moi. Point is, we're not here to judge. Let's leave that shit to the tight-sphinctered tea partiers. Those motherfuckers wouldn't know how to REALLY throw it up if they tried.

Stankin' drunk-ass video dude may be one short bus motherfucker, but at least he knows how to throw it up! Throw it up, motherfuckers. Throw it up! [To quote Lil' Jon. SB is a FAN, Lil' Jon. Throw that shit up!]

An SB Beauty Tip for Bitches of a Certain Age

Remember girls, a really tight ponytail can also serve as a cheap instant face lift.

You're welcome, bitches!

Shit SB Says in Reply to Her Idol, Ms. Moon

There is nothing so ridiculous or embarrassing as Americans on vacation.

More Shit SB Says on the Telephone at Work to the Ex-Husband

I will be happy to donate, as long as your promise you won't try and convert the pygmies. You know I don't go for that shit. Don't be Bible-thumping the damn pygmies. They have enough problems. Bitches are so remote, they can't even get a decent haircut.

Unless You are Bo Derek or Jamaican, You CANNOT Carry this Hairdo Off, So Don't Even Try Dumb Ass

The poor kids--with genetics like that--they are NEVER going to stand a chance at being cool. If you don't believe my ass, look at the dork in the middle.

Shit SB Says to a Co-Worker

Did your dumb ass come out here to destroy my equanimity? I work hard for that shit.

Mercer Says Good Afternoon to All You Motherfuckers

Actually, she says FUCK YOU (unless your dumb ass has a snack for her).

Quote of the Damn Day: Robert Downey Jr.

But as long as I don't forget the past, I'm cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, you're going to be just fine.

Go. See. It.

I Just Like the Damn Photo, Okay?

This shit just screams TENDERNESS or LUNCH, perhaps?