Sunday, March 22, 2009

Jehovah's Witlesses: Part of the Unique American Experience

The asshole licker (Ginger) scared off a pair of lady Jehovah's Witlesses this morning. They were a couple of VERY STERN looking black women. Ginger always goes ballistic when someone shows up at the door--doesn't matter who. She even goes ballistic when Mr. SB comes home from work at night. Then, when he comes in the house, she runs upstairs and hides. But, she DOES sound ferocious.

I couldn't even get the outer door open to talk to the grim Witlesses. The asshole licker kept hopping up and down on her back legs. I said, "I'm sorry ladies [I really wasn't], but there is just no way [pointing at the hopping asshole licker]. Besides, I'm a humanist."

Well, if looks could kill. The one STERNEST black lady was having NONE OF THIS HUMANIST BULLSHIT. She really truly frightened me. She just glowered at me like there was a VERY BAD taste in her mouth.

After I closed the front door, I praised the asshole licker for being a good dog and scaring the Witlesses off. I gave her a treat and patted her head. GOOD DOG.

The Moms has an interesting tactic with the Jehovah's Witlesses. She believes in honesty, so she hands them their literature back and tells them she'll only throw it out. "I won't read this," she tells them. "So let's not waste it. You can give it to somebody who might actually read it."

I love my mother.


Beth said...

I love the Moms too, SB, but it would make me happy to the end of my days if she would (instead of honesty) invest in the gigantic balls door knocker. I'm thinking Mother's Day gift...!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Great idea! I support your gift choice!!

Anonymous said...

That's a bunch of total bullshit (see, I can cuss too!) -- lay off the flattery bs sis -- that will money is mine!