Wednesday, November 17, 2010

NEW SB Feature! If I Could Do that Shit All Over Again (or Life Tips for You Ingrateful Young Useless Fucks)

Fuck more (but wear a damn condom, you dumb little bastards) while you still have the energy and no beer gut, hangy skin, or saggy damn titties. I enjoy running around naked now, but no one wants to see that shit [at least no one who wants to keep their eyesight].

You're welcome.

16 comments:

nerstes said...

Heh.
thanks are in order.even tho...um...yeah...well.

take care !
Lou

Ms. Moon said...

And he looks so proud.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nerstes,
Long time no encounter. Hope all is well. Thanks for reading moi.

Ms. Moon,
Who wouldn't be? That took a lot of fucking work.

Denny Coates said...

I've been known to blog wisdom myself on occasion. But your post here is PROFOUND. When people reach that point in life when they only have a few breaths left, THAT is one of the top things they ponder...the regret that they lost all those opportunities for sensual joy.

The Wit Continuum said...

This...this....this can't be real...I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.. Is there an alien in there?

downtown guy said...

Hey, if you've got a big tool you need to build a big shed. Where'd you get that picture of me?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Denny,
You are a very WISE man. SB adores you!

Jenn,
Yeah, I keep expecting a creature to explode out of the motherfucker's stomach. THAT'S SOME ALIEN MOTHERFUCKING SHIT RAHT THAR!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
My bro is a wise man, too. Laugh.

Love you so!

Syd said...

That is really gross. He must have had a lot of air forced into his belly. Or else he really is a woman who is about to deliver quads.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
From the look of it, he may have not just quads, but an entire quad bike, stuffed in there.

Thanks for reading me amidst your take-home test. I appreciate it, and I wish you luck, even though you are a BIG BRAIN and don't need it.

Love you!

downtown guy said...

Seriously, though, that's sort of what my belly looks like, but tattooed.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
I'm sure your belly is perfectly lovely, just like the rest of you.

Christiejolu said...

Dang that is an impressive beer gut!!!

Jeannie said...

I know a guy who had a belly that big. Scary as hell. He actually could not tell when he was full. No sense of satiety. Plus he loved food and beer. He actually tore something inside his belly was so big.

He hasn't spoken to us in a few years for some reason but sent us an unsigned Christmas card last year. (checked the post mark over the stamp)

I agree that folks really should fuck it up good while the getting is good and the parts are all pleasant and in the right place.

Mr.Mischief said...

I think he's brewing his own beer in that gut...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jeannie,
I can't tell when I am full either, especially where booze is concerned.

Mr. M.,
Could be. Could be.