Wool Fetishist of the Week: DISTURBING

This one's rather disturbing. I guess he/she/it likes bondage AND wool! Well, to each his own. We're not here to judge, are we, my precious little motherfuckers?

SB has admitted a Russell Crowe fetish. I usually like to masturbate during his films, so I don't see them first run in theatres. It makes the other people in the row uncomfortable.

Now, my ass fessed up, so what floats your boat? Don't worry--no one here will judge you. If they do, I'll just delete his/her damn comment. I am the Motherfucking Queen of this Universe! Everyone is allowed to be honest here. There will be no shunning. NO SHUNNING ALLOWED.

Note: The motherfuckers here (and this includes SB!) don't need to hear about your personal fetish in VAST detail. Just a general idea will do fine. I have no wish to start a Mannequin Lovers forum here. Here is a link, in case you think I jest, about der Mannequin Fetishists (the best part is the first comment underneath the damn story.) Link: http://undeniableliberalism.blogspot.com/2007/01/mannequin-fetishreally.html

Wool Fetishist of the Week: Part 3

For fucking once, I think I'm speechless (typeless?).

Wool Fetishist COUPLE of the Week

I guess it's sort of romantic to share your partner's interests, but SB is NOT a romantic person AT ALL (sex is a biological function, peeps--tits are giant sacks of nasty fat for feeding infants--see what I mean?). The only thing that comes to mind when I look at this touching romantic fucking photo (below) is: Aren't their damn privates itchy?

My one wool sweater makes my arms and back itch. My ass doesn't even want to think about wearing that shit on my poonanny.

[This post is going to make the Moms mad, because I AM DISCUSSING MY PUSSY IN A PUBLIC FORUM AGAIN. You can't be thinking about offending your mother when you are doing your art though. What if Robert Mapplethorpe (SB's favourite photographer) had considered his mum's feelings? That motherfucker would have had to have stuck to boring fucking stamen-protruding flowers. We wouldn't have had GREAT ART like Portrait of the Artist with a Bullwhip Up His Ass.]

Wool Fetishist of the Week: Evil Wooly

Is it me, or is there something slightly sinister looking about this mohair motherfucker?

Wool Fetishist Trio of the Week: Two Chicks and a Dude (I Think)

Okay, motherfuckers. This week, we have a wool-fetishist trio for your viewing enjoyment? I hope this shit is not too much over breakfast. Our British friends will be okay, because it's luncheon time over there. It's probably easier not to throw up over sarnies than bacon and eggs. Something about those runny yolks makes SB want to fucking heave. But our subject here is not eggs (with our apologies to the American Dairy Association--don't ask--SB considers eggs dairy--it was a longstanding argument in my marriage--along with the Wright Brothers having invented the sewing machine, but the wily Mr. Singer pinching credit for it--because I mean--what didn't the fucking Wright Brothers invent? Sorry, that's just my DAYTON PRIDE talking), so moving on. . . .

I do think the guy on the left in the photo is sort of sexy because the wool really accentuates his private region. Dude is packing. I'd still have to laugh though--if some guy walked into the bedroom wearing that shit. He sort of looks like the hooded hangmen of the days of yore, don't you think?

I find it mildly interesting that the ho in the middle closed her eyes in the photo. I guess when modeling for wool-fetishist publications, they are not that choosy about the damn photo quality. The focus is on the fucking WOOL, people! Nobody gives a shit whether the fetishist model's orbs are open are closed. Whatever.

Or maybe if that bitch kept her eyes open, she was worried she would crack up laughing. My ass sure would.

NOTE: No disrespect intended to all you lovely wool fetishists. To each his own, I say. We are not here to judge. Leave that shit to the damn church.

Wool Fetishists of the Week

This week, we have another wool fetishist pair for you motherfuckers' double delight! Personally, SB finds this shit anything but sexy, and it is my understanding that these folks get off on fucking in these suits. I don't get that shit. Is there strategic pocketry someplace? Surely the wool-covered penis doesn't go in the woolen cooze? Perhaps this would work as an effective form of birth control though. Your thoughts, all? Don't be shy.

Looks to me like the wooly on the left is packing a little extra poundage. Do you suppose that's why she prefers wearing the suit when doing it? That shit hides a multitude of sins!

And again, if you are a proper wool fetishist, we want to hear from you! We value your input and would like to knew if the suits make your privates itchy, or is that part of the draw? We are not here to scoff. We are here to embrace and appreciate all lifestyles*, unlike the damn Bush administration and the religious right, but don't get my ass started.

*Except for people who cut off limbs for a sexual thrill or pedophiles--you've got to draw the line somewhere. One has got to have standards, motherfuckers!

NEW SB Feature! Wool Fetishist of the Week

SB is introducing a NEW SB Feature called Wool Fetishist of the Week, at least until I get bored with it. If you are a regular motherfucker, you know how features come and go around here. Anyhoo, my current fascination is with wool fetishists, or motherfuckers who get turned on by wearing wool. Seems to me that wool would really make a person's privates itch like a motherfucker, but what the hell. We're not here to judge, people! We'll leave that shit to that moron Rush Limbaugh and the conservative Christians, who want to boss everybody around and ruin everybody's good time.

If you happen to be a wool fetishist, we welcome you to Sarcastic Bastard and invite you to comment. We are open-minded people, and we would like to learn more about wool fetishstry. Bless your wooly little hearts.