Thursday, January 29, 2009

Multiple Scary Jesuses

Okay, this one picture knocks out like the next several months of Scary Jesus postings because there are like five scary fuckers here. (I know, I know, I just called Jesus a fucker. I'm taking the short bus to hell. Apologies to His Kingship Incarnate.) I'm bad at the math. I think there are five anyway. I'm a damn English major, not a goddamn Statistics major, you fucks!

I think the workshop guy who makes these could probably bring in some extra bucks if he made the Jesuses a little more useful. Maybe he could stick a clock or a cameo-sized photo frame in their navel areas or something. Then, they wouldn't take up so much wall space without being useful.

Is it sacrilegious to embed a time piece or photo frame on Jesus? I think the Lord would like us all to be useful. He probably wouldn't mind leading by example. I am asking for opinions here, people! This will give me something to think about while I run tonight, or at least during the commercials, as I watch Rock of Love Bus reruns for the fifth time this week.

And don't act like you KNOW the Lord's will, either! I'm warning you! That shit pisses me off. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LORD OUR GOD WANTS, so don't you SCARY EVANGELICALS be railroading everyone else with your damn opinions! I've had enough of that shit for the last eight years! Being the loudest and pushiest doesn't make your ass right at Sarcastic Bastard!

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