Saturday, January 31, 2009

My Special (Needs) Girlfriend, Jan Crouch of TBN

Okay, I realize I could lose a few of you readers on this post. I just refuse to be safe or to patronize your asses in order to keep readers. Great art must take risks, people! If I don't teach your dumb asses anything else, let it be that. I HAVE TO POST THIS SHIT. MY ASS IS COMPELLED! You see, SB has this weird love for TBN's Jan Crouch. I don't watch Jan regularly, but for some reason, whenever I see her overly-made up face on TBN, MY ASS IS COMPELLED TO WATCH!

I seriously love Jan. She makes SB's heavy, cold stone creamery heart. . .well. . .lighter. Jan's joy is infectious! She cries A LOT, too. Maybe Jan needs meds (but we're not here to judge). She is always talking about getting her joy back and shit, AND THEN SHE CRIES ABOUT THE JOY! Quite frankly, I think she may struggle with bipolar disorder (but again, WE'RE NOT HERE TO JUDGE!). I just think Jan's endearing mood swings make her more warm and human, and that just makes SB love her all the damn more! My heart is especially joy-filled when Jan wears the pink wig (see the splendour of that shit in photo above)!

WARNING: And don't you be hating on Jan. That shit will not be tolerated here. Sarcastic Bastard is going to be a safe haven for Jan's joy!

Here's Jan discussing her joy and then losing it and then getting it back again in the video below. I think the Stevie Nick's dress sort of adds to her angelic aura, don't you? It really sends Jan's heavenly message home.

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