Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My Lovely Co-Worker, T.

It is snowing to beat shit here AGAIN today, so you know what that means. The talk of weather abounds! ALL DAY it will abound MORE! Godfuckingdammit. Many of the schools and even some places of toil (work) are closed. Not mine, of course, and since I only live about two miles from my place of toil, it wouldn't look good to call out for snow, especially since one of my co-workers drove in from fucking Siberia in this tiny little microscopic piece-of-rice-on-wheels Toyota.

I was telling the WONDERFUL Mr. SarcBast, who took about 45 minutes to scrape my entire vehicle off from stem to stern (and also broke my ice scraper, which had sentimental value), about my friend, T., who happens to be from Vietnam and toils here at THIS PLACE, along with me.

On every cold, snowy day, T. offers to go out in the frozen-tundra parking lot to start the cars of his co-workers before their departure from said place of toil, so that they can sit their fat American asses in a warmed-up car on the journey home. I suspect he does this, not only because he is especially considerate of others, but also because his ass came over to this country on a VERY SMALL boat, loaded with WAY TOO MANY other unfortunate fuckers, some of whom expired on the trip, and they ACTUALLY HAD TO EAT THEIR BODIES TO SURVIVE! DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE EITHER--your fat American ass has likely never been starving--you don't know what you would do if you were that damn hungry! And T. probably knows what spoiled pussies most Americans actually are, and I think somehow, he may actually get some sort of unselfish enjoyment in coddling us further.

T. busts his nuts for America almost every day because he appreciates being here.


Beth said...

Any chance that T. is also going through your glove compartments, riffling through your CDs, and/or stealing your identity? I don't know T., so I'm not passing judgement, I'm just saying that I might have a small chip on my shoulder had I been forced to eat my countrymen just to get to a country where everyone is this lazy...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

That was a STUNNING comment, Beth. I am proud of you! That was so fucking good, I am temporarily without a sarcastic reply.