Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Elders Are Cold

It's that time of year again. The Indian elders are cold on the res. Can you help them out with a small donation for luxuries like food, blankets, and heating oil? If so, click here to donate to the American Indian Relief Council:

I feel guilty as hell when the elders are doing without. I think helping out American Indians is the least we heartless bastards can do, since a lot of us are white people, and we basically decimated the Native Americans' families, land, and way of life.

Actually, only an eighth of me is guilty for said slaughter, because my great-grandmother was a full-blooded Chippewa/Ojibwa. Memaw had a really mean thunder-face, and my dad didn't pull any shit on her because she was scary.

I hope I don't offend my tribe, but I must admit that I was sort of disappointed to learn that we were Ojibwa at first, because they were a peaceful, basket-weaving peoples. I wanted to be Comanche or Apache or some fierce shit like that that would strike fear into the heart of the white man, not an artisan. Somewhat reluctantly, however, I have embraced the heritage of my tribe, and I even offer to weave baskets at a discount for family members during the holidays.

Longaberger, my ass. [Their Web site advertises "American made baskets." If you want a real American-made basket, get an Ojibwa to do it.]

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