Friday, November 4, 2011

This is because AT LEAST HALF of Americans are total assholes and want to tell everybody else how to live.

My ex-husband was adamant and really an asshole about me changing my last name to his. When the marriage was over, it took me more than a year to get everything changed back to my maiden name. You would not believe the time and paperwork involved. It was a damn part-time job. I will NEVER EVER take a man's name again. And the rest of America can kiss my ass. I don't give a ripe goddamn what they think.

I guess because I was born with a vag, instead of a damn ween, you have a right to legislate what my name is. FUCK YOU! I'm a goddamn tax-paying adult (not a child), and I think I can decide that for myself.

This country is still so goddamn sexist, it's not funny, and we're supposed to be progressive. What a damn joke.


Steph(anie) said...

Haven't read the article yet, but I will. When I got married I changed my name right quick because I didn't want to have my dad's name anymore, but if anything were to happen to Dan or my marriage, I don't think I would change it again, whether to my maiden name or to another man's name. I might consider my mom's maiden name if it wasn't so damn hard to say.

Big Mark 243 said...

Part of the high number is that it is 'habit' less than anyone thinking that it is sexist. That the number is around the 50% rate to me reflects that more women would NOT change their name and that is where the trend is heading... think back, do you think it would have been half back in 2000 or 1990?

When I thought I was going to marry the Delta Girl, we had planned to use HER last name with my last name preceding hers... it was my idea and it looked super cool..! We'd both have our id's and all that changed so that the hassle of divorce would make us stay together (or so we naively thought!)

Natascha said...

Things like that make my brain hurt. Why would all those idiots care so much about women keeping their maiden names or not, that they want a freaking law about it, to force women to take the men's names? WTF

There are already far too many stupid private-life-invading backwards laws. Let people do whatever they want.

Good for you getting your maiden name back!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I get that totally. THE PROBLEM I HAVE THOUGH, is other damn people trying to legislate it and deciding for ME. I am just over that shit.

Big Mark,
You are a decent man, and I think it's only fair to take both names. John Lennon did. I thought that was one of the nicest gifts he could have given Yoko. It showed VAST respect, but then John was a decent man too, and of course they shot him for it.

Steph(anie) said...

No, I know. That is a terrible idea, to make it a law. But I don't take it too seriously, I don't think it would really pass. And I would like to know more about their study sample.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nothing would surprise me law-wise in this country anymore. Nothing.

Love you.

Ms. Moon said...

Yep. When I divorced my first husband, I had to go through that SHIT to get my "maiden" (and what a crock THAT word is) name back.
But then, when I married Mr. Moon, I took his name because, well, Moon is such an incredibly cool name and frankly, I adored his daddy and I adored him and my father was an old drunk who never did a thing for me.
But it was MY decision.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

The surname Moon would tempt me too. It's a great name.

Jeannie said...

My sister eventually changed her name after she and her husband split. I asked her what she was changing it to - because you can change it to whatever you want. She was boring.
I think names should be done like the Spanish do it. You get both your parents last names, but go by the mother's because most people know whose vag they popped out of but not necessarily how they got in there. That way, the kids have the same name as the Mom because face it - most of the childcare is still done by the Mom and it's a nuisance if Mom and the kids have different names. When you get married, you can add the new name to the list but are not required to do so legally.

Mel said...

I took my husband's last name because I was so tired of spelling my old one, and sick to death of the fact that the mom made all our names rhyme. Lord.

I remember so well the sociology class I took in college, when we studied matriarch based societies, and I realized that just because this is the way it is doesn't make it right. I was pissed off for a few years that so many of our rights and customs were patriarch driven. I still call BS on that program. There was one African tribe I remember where women ruled the day. Men had no property rights, married into the female's families and were subservient to the women in general. I really liked that program.

Sorry about your troubles.

The Subversive Librarian said...

When I got divorced, I put in the papers that I was taking my mother's maiden name instead of mine. The judge never questioned it. I hope I never take anyone's name again.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks for all the comments and your personal stories about this. I appreciate the good discussion because it so pisses me the fuck off.

I love my peeps!