Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Deep Thoughts During My Annual Vag Exam

While I was having my vagina examined this morning, my long-time doc was telling me about rescuing Schnauzers. I almost couldn't get away from her, but she is such a nice lady, I really didn't give too much of a damn. And also, her hands are warm. I think a bitch should have to have warm hands to qualify as an OB/GYN.

The doc also remarked on the economy and talked about being careful with her money. It struck me that maybe the economic troubles we all have been experiencing have not been entirely bad. Maybe they've helped some of us to focus on what's really important and how much is enough.

Jesus. I just had a positive thought before noon. My apologies.

9 comments:

Lo said...

Damn, that is twice in one day that you have touched my heart.

I nominate your phrase "how much is enough" to fight it out in the ring with the people's choice More".

(if this appears twice it is because something weird made my previous effort disappear....sorry.)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lo,
If I touched your heart, then that made my whole damn day. I really mean it.

Love,

SB

Mary said...

AND you touched my funny bone with "Jesus. I just had a positive thought before noon. My apologies."
TOO fucking funny! You made this bitch laugh!
Thanks!!!!

Steph(anie) said...

'maybe the economic troubles we all have been experiencing have not been entirely bad. Maybe they've helped some of us to focus on what's really important and how much is enough.'

Yet again, you are so VERY right.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

OMG SB! How can you possibly have any coherent thought at the vag doc?!

It takes every bit of my strength just to un-clench my knees. I can't possibly think about the economy or any thing else at that moment. Kudos to you babe! :)

Ms. Moon said...

You always touch my heart.

Jeannie said...

I haven't had my "annual" for a number of years. My doc warms the equipment first - her hands get warm at the same time I think. I suppose I should make that appointment and one to get my boobs squashed too. Next they'll be poking things up my butt. I'll have to channel my inner gay man for that. Was that rude? I suppose there are anal lovers of all bents. I've just never been one of them.

Segueing neatly into how much is enough, I think we have been royally screwed by the banks. It used to be that you could get 6% interest at the bank on deposits when the lending rate was 8%. A modest but safe return on investment. The stock market was for rich gamblers. People have forgotten that. Mutual funds have helped to obscure the fact but it is still a crap shoot every time. And now the decent interest at the bank is gone. Poor people have to gamble at something they know nothing about and have little control.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mary,
Thanks, love. It actually shocked me. I am not a bastion of positivity in the mornings. Laugh.

Steph,
And you are smart, so that makes me happy that you agree with me, and I mean that.

Mel,
I want to think about anything but what's going on during that particular procedure. Laugh. Love you. Love to A!

Ms. Moon,
You ARE my heart.

Jeannie,
I think it is important to go, but NOBODY likes those things. My mom's neighbor across the street avoided the colonoscopy and died YOUNG of colon cancer a few years back. Please go.

We HAVE been screwed by the banks. I'm totally with you. The banks are in the front door, and the damn government is hitting our shit from the back door.

I'm fed up.

Love to all my peeps,

SB

Big Mark 243 said...

... don't know if it has helped enough figure out it isn't about what you can buy just yet... but this post is certainly a good start...