Friday, November 11, 2011

The Moms Thinks the Damn Spirit Guides Are Coming to Get Her

I was telling Ms. Moon that the Moms was shopping at Marshall's yesterday and noticed a cart needing to pass coming up behind her. The Moms turned around to let the man with the cart pass, and he was a young Pakistani/Indian man, and he asked the Moms: Do you believe in angels or spirit guides? 

Well I think I have said before that Moms think angels are a load of damn hooey and something about them actively angers her. So before she could answer, the young man said: Because you’re surrounded by them.

The Moms was in total fucking shock. She replied: Well, I guess I am lucky. And the young man said: No, you are blessed. And with that, he turned and left.

Because I know about the Mom’s special angel aversion, she called to tell me about her encounter, and her voice was really upset and shaky. At first, I thought something had happened to Daddums or that she'd been robbed or in an accident or some shit. She said she was just in shock. I told her I thought maybe the young man was a messenger of some sort.

Ms. Moon's reply to the situation cracked me up. See below.

Your poor mom. Look- crazy people can look sane. I had a guy tell me once that I was surrounded by loving spirits of black labs or something like that and I've never owned a black lab in my life and don't care for dogs. But hell- if she's surrounded by spirits then that's great and she doesn't need to change a thing because they've always been there, most likely. 

My response to Ms. Moon's reply below.

I will tell mom about the loving spirits of black labs thing. That will crack her up. The whole thing sort of weirded her out—like the angels are coming to take her away or some shit. I had to try to calm her down. She goes from zero belief in angels to actively FEARING them. Thanks Pakistani guy! He probably thought he was being helpful.


Ms. Moon said...

Yeah, Pakistani Guy- keep your angel-vision to yourself!

mrs. miss alaineus said...

at least he didn't tell her all about lord krsna and ask for a donation....


Lo said...

Reminds me of when I was in my Hippie Artist phase and a friend read the Tarot Cards for me......warned me that I would shortly be confronted by a very dark foreign looking bearded stranger Next day came a knock on my
Studio door and I opened it to see on my doorstep a tall, bearded, very dark Indian gentleman wearing a spotless white turban, no less.

I do not know who he was or what he wanted because I think I must have fainted or left my body. When I recovered consciousness I was still standing at the door holding the doorknob but the doorstep was empty.

I wish, to this day, that I had not been such a coward and had stayed conscious long enough to ask him what brought hm to me......

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, sub/dude said...

Lookit ‘MySoulAccomplishment’ - God only gives bawls to those who see the need for humility. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

Syd said...

Well, I have a lot of black lab spirits around and a few yellow ones too. And likely a bunch of people spirits. But tell the Mom's that they are quiet and at peace. Not one has ever done a thing to me after dying. And the solution is to treat the ones that are living good so that there are no reprisals.

Got your email. I have been terrible about checking email. I will still be here to read when you post. Love you, SB.

Gledwood said...

I once got told I had a Thai spirit guide. I was learning Thai at the time and doing really well at it. Then I went travelling to INDIA instead. Duhh!!

Jeannie said...

I am missing you most desperately. I know it's not your fault. Maybe one day you'll be able to return. Take care. I will always love you.

gradydoctor said...

SB! Where you AT!? How am I supposed to know who I need to be laughing at if you aren't posting???

Hugs and Happy Turkey Day! Love you!


mrs.missalaineus said...

i miss your wit!

i moved my blog- come visit soon and continue to witness the adventures!


Mel said...

I hope the spirit guides didn't get you. I miss your voice out here in the ether.
Hope all is well, or at least manageable.



Maggie May said...

The Spirit Of The Black Labs

sounds like a Stephen King novel!