Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Mercer, Gak Machine Extraordinaire

Meet Mercer. She disdains you, trust me. Doesn't matter who you are. If you are Brangelina, she still fucking hates you and your thirty kids. Every single one of them.

Mercer is the Queen of Sarcastic Bastard, and don't you forget it! Mr. Sarcastic Bastard calls Mert the Gak Machine or sometimes Marlon Brando (disrespectful!) because she has a tad of a weight problem. She also hurls A LOT. ON A DAILY BASIS.

I know, I know already--first rule of trying to grow a new blog--introducing children or your pets kills blog traffic. DEAD. Nobody gives a shit about your damn kids or fur balls. But see, this is MY damn blog, and I worship (literally fucking worship) the Gak Meister, so suck it.

Also, since I have SWEATED GALLONS OF BLOOD and have grown this blog to about two readers, if I lose half of my readership, I only risk losing one. I can live with that. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!

And thanks for reading, Mom. I appreciate it.

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