Friday, July 1, 2011

E-mail I Sent to Our Company CEO, Who Just Moved Here from Australia

Prepare yourself for BIG and LOUD this weekend. Americans like everything to be over the top and LOUD. I think it’s our most obnoxious holiday. Also, my neighborhood is full of rednecks. There may even be gunfire involved. My 87 year old dog will be pissing herself and hiding under the bed. I’ll just be glad when it’s all over.

10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

I am so glad that your boss has you to give him the fair and balanced vision of What America Is All About. Love you, baby!

Terena said...

So true, my favorite thing about the 4th is when the old guy up the hill plays patriotic music really loud at 8 am and pisses off all the hippies.

Big Mark 243 said...

uh, the Aussies party hard too... the CEO is prolly ready to roll as well..!

Petit fleur said...

This is funny!

And I won't even get going on "the birth date of our nation" fallacy...

Instead I'll just hope nobody catches any shrapnel.
xo

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

SB,
Yeah, I agree, the thrill of fireworks is long gone, unless they come up with new colors or patterns or sounds.
j.

sweden said...

tons of fucking bang bang fri here too, canada day.
had to close the windows cause cats were not amused.

mom told me her dog jake barked ALL night and ran around the house like a wild animal, as every holiday where they use the bang bang.

personally i am AGAINST fireworks, because it scares all the animals, not only in the house, but all the raccoons and baby raccoons, and possums, and squirrels in the trees, and some birds get so scared they fly blindly into the walls and die.
so no thanks.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dearest SB, this made me laugh, especially the gunfire and your 87 year old dog!

I hope you've had a wonderful weekend and I promise to be back to catch up with you asap.

I love you my friend xxxx

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
I ADORE YOU!

Terena,
I wish I lived near hippies.

Big Mark,
Yeah, the Australians can really throw down. Gotta love them.

PF,
I hear you on the shrapnel, babe. Laugh.

Christina,
I love back, my dear.

Parabolic Muse said...

We are lucky, in that our little Scout dog doesn't care about fireworks and just sleeps or eats through them. Even so, our neighborhoods shuts it down by 10 and it's the quietest place in the world. I have no idea why.

A friend of mine lives in Torrance, and they cancelled their fireworks event this year due to financial problems, and she said her neighborhood erupted in entitlement explosions until 2am. They were all hooting and hollering and shooting stuff until they were too damn drunk to stand up.

Makes me kinda nostalgic for my childhood. But that wasn't my point.

Syd said...

It was a great time here. I had to call the law when some idiot shot a flare gun at a boat in the marina.