Friday, July 22, 2011

This Is Mean, but I Don't Give a Fuck. Somebody's Got to Have the Balls to Be the Damn Spokesperson of America Around Here.



I was just looking at the blog of a person from India, and I don't really think it's a good thing that many Indians now have Internet access. Reading that pigeon English shit is like trying to understand an Indian person who works for a software help desk. Indian English = muy sucko. Since the damn credit card companies have all outsourced to India now, I spend enough time on the phone with the damn fuckers. I don't want to deal with trying to read shitty English TOO. As an English major, I have scant patience with fucked-up grammar.

Also, the About Me sections on Indian blogs are very basic and spare. I guess this would be due to the Indian lack of ego. You are lucky if you get one damn sentence out of the fuckers. Can you say, B-O-R-I-N-G? I think they ought to prohibit boring badly-grammatisized (I made that word up.) motherfuckers from blogging AT ALL. My time is precious! I don't want to sift through a bunch of Indian yoga poses and goat-herding shit, trying to find something semi-entertaining to read. I don't think I should have to suffer like that. I lived under George W. Bush for 8 fucking years. I've suffered enough.


13 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Just when I think I love you as much as I can you write something like this and I know my love for you is limitless.

Big Mark 243 said...

This was too funny... politically incorrect or not... this sounds like something Louis CK would have said...

V said...

Oh man! You've just proved that you're the biggest Motherfucker of all times.
First of all, not all Indians look like that person in that image. And no..we don't always wear extremely colourful clothes and NO..we don't smell of spices and NO...this place is not filled with fucking snake charmers. These are all general stereotypes made of Indian people by foreigners.

And not all of us have bad English...and not all of us have really bad accents. Its funny how an illiterate Italian can charm people off with a few English words and how an Indian who is mostly literate gets insulted cos he/she cannot put on an American or British accent!

People who work for software help desks.. work there cos they need money to live and it's not cos they want to be blessed with all of your curses. Yes I've heard of some stories where Indians are royally insulted by foreigners. Yes, its really frustrating...you know...trying to make out what the other person on the other end of the phone is saying. But that doesn't give anyone the right to be fucking racists!

And if you think Indian blogs are full of shit then why read it in the first place? lol.
I live in Bangalore City in India and most people I know speak brilliant English with really good accents. You lived under George W. Bush only for 8 years but we lived under the British for hundreds of years(during which we were tortured and also wiped off all wealth). So I think if someone has the right to speak in English and even ruin it for that matter... then it's the Indians. :)

No, usually I'm not known for being very patriotic and that's mainly cos I hate the idea of a 'country'as such...which I think is a social construct.
But when I read articles like this I'm forced to speak in this manner.

Just saying. :)

Omgrrrl said...

But as an American, an English Major and more importantly a Sarcastic Bastard, you have mastered the F word. Bless you!

RETRO REVA said...

You never cease to make me laugh my ass off!
You are freaking awesome ;)
xXx
Reva

Lori said...

I really love you now, more than ever. Maybe if more Americans had bigger balls this situation would not have gotten so damn out of hand. What I love is when you call the service number for any type of help, you get a person saying his name is "John" with an accent so thick you can taste the sand and camels. This is not intended to be racist. If your name is Naheim say so. Speak clearly and properly so that I can understand what the fuck you are saying. After pushing 7 different buttons just to hear a human voice that is the icing on the cake. I pray for one you never lose those big old testicles of yours my dear...xoxo

Denise Emanuel Clemen said...

I'm a little sarcastic myself and no matter how hard I try, I can't break the swearing habit. I get a little down from time to time and your blog blog makes me laugh harder than Damn You Autocorrect. The title is fucking genius.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
I sure couldn't love anyone more than I do you. That's a fact.

Big Mark,
Thank you, my dear.

V,
I respect your opinion. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. But I have to say I poke fun of nearly everyone around here, even white Americans, like me, which I sometimes refer to as crackers. Nobody is immune, babe. I call it how I see it.

Best,

SB

Omgrrrl,
Many thanks for reading my profanity and much love.

Lori,
We are peas in a pod, babe. Poor you. Laugh.

Denise,
Thank you for reading and commenting. You have made my damn Monday, and that's saying something. Please join us often. You have my personal invite.

Love,

SB

Retro Reva,
SB loves your fabulousness. Thank you, dahling.

Syd said...

SB, I wish that those big companies would bite the big one since they need to insource to our own country. But the bottom line is they are greedy asses. And the Indians are working for low $$ which is what corporate America is all about. I have actually had good results with the tech help there. Yeah, sometimes they are hard to understand and the names they are given to say are totally demeaning. Just another reason to dislike the big business greedy MFers in this country.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

This is priceless! I've had my own run-ins with that damn tech support in India...fucking frustrating!

Did I say how much I love that picture?

V said...

haha...I know. But i just had to say it. :P
Still love your blog :D

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
I'm with you on the big business greedy motherfuckers. What a lot of assholes. Americans are the greediest nation in general, I think. We're the worst of the worst.

V,
Thanks so much. Well-reasoned opinions/comments are always welcomed. Everybody certainly doesn't have to agree with me. I'm mostly just poking fun at everybody (even my own sorry ass).

Love,

SB

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Ditto Ms Moon. This cracked me up.

If it wasn't fucking 4am here I'd tell you a story but I'll save it and come back and catch up with your posts later. I've scrolled back so I can try and keep up in order. Love you loads xx