Thursday, July 30, 2009

Magic Fucking Bullet Margarita Making

SB stopped by the Kroger last night and picked up some margarita fixings. I bought two bottles of cheap tequila and two things of the Chichi's Strawberry Margarita mix with booze already in it. I like to add extra, motherfuckers. There's no sense in dranking candy-ass tasting shit, if you can't cop a damn buzz.

My ass was tahred after working HARD all day, and I didn't feel like digging the damn frozen drink machine out and washing it up and assembling that shit, so SB had the INGENIOUS IDEA to make margaritas in the MAGIC FUCKING BULLET! Can you say EASY CLEAN-UP, people?

That fucker worked pretty good. I even made one for the neighbor kid (The kid is 25, so any pigs reading this shit, don't try and bust me for serving alcohol to minors--go fight crime, motherfucking pigs--DO YOUR DAMN JOBS AND STOP PICKING ON THE LITTLE GUY! SB is always fighting the man. I am a DEFIANT MOTHERFUCKER like my hero, Steve McQueen.).

The only drawback with the MAGIC FUCKING BULLET was a few sizeable chunks of ice that the midgety dicking device couldn't overcome. I just spooned those fuckers out and roughed it. I will sacrifice for alcohol, motherfuckers!

19 comments:

downtown guy said...

I will drink a margarita. I don't care how fruity it looks, there's tequila in it. It's like a femmey gay guy who can totally whip your ass, and I get along great with those guys.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Yo DTG,
Are the chickens all still alive? How is the wrangling going? When does Ms. Moon come home?

Love, SB.

downtown guy said...

No idea, I did my chicken wrangling this past weekend. I work weeks, so I'm at home, wrangling my cat instead. Meanest damn cat you ever met in your life. I love her wee black heart.

AAmy said...

Your blog is by far the most brilliant thing since Google. Thanks for the many laughs and keep the coming!

afk4life said...

SB
Hell, go simpler, just get limeade, orange juice and white tequila. Some ice and it's passable enough without all the inconvenient I'm-choking-to-death-on-ice problems. :)
<3
Doug

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
I love mean fucking cats! Of course, what cat is not mean? Don't think I've ever met one. I grew up with Siamese. Those fuckers are extra mean. Love them!

All This Trouble... said...

Mmmmmmmm...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

AAmy,
Thanks for the HUGE compliment and for reading and commenting. Welcome formally to the warped world of Sarcastic Bastard. Please join us often.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Doug,
You are my alcoholic beverage guru. Thanks for the tip, my brothah.

Shitloads of love,

SB

Syd said...

Sounds like you know how to pahtee SB

Lady Lemon said...

My cat is a fucking saint. I don't know what's up with you guys and these evil-ass cats.

I love that you have a magic bullet. I've always secretly wanted one, but found it hard to justify. Do you use it often?

I can't handle the tequilla. Too many negative encounters.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lady Lemon,
Justify that shit. I love my Magic Bullet! I do everything but wash clothes in the fucker.

Smoothies -- great
Bloody Marys -- good mixer
Margaritas -- YES
salsa -- YUM

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
I do indeed know how to pah-tay. Where she stops nobody knows.

Love you!

SB

nan said...

You are a GENIUS!!!! Smart as a whip I say! If I ever do make it down to that fabulous state of yours, I shall expect magic bullet margaritas, one after the other.

sKILLz said...

I love me some Margaritas!
Of course if I'm going to get hammered I want some shots, and hard liquor.
However whenever I go out Margaritas are a all time fav for me and the wife!
Have a FEW drinks for me SB!
Stay Up!

Heather said...

I like Margaritas ..actually I just like drinking

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nan,
If you come visit my ass, I'll even buy the good muy expensivo tequila! When I'm alone, I just buy that generic grocery store shit variety of booze.

Sending shitloads of love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Heather,
Me too! Maybe we should start an alcoholics club or some shit. I want to be Grand Poohbah though. You can be vice-Poohbah.

Love you. Have a great weekend!

SB

Heather said...

lets...