Tuesday, July 21, 2009

SB Is Back but Still Sick as Fuck

Kiddies,
SB is back today, after missing work yesterday and half a damn day today. I sound like Froggy from the fucking Little Rascals, and I think I am running a damn temperature still, but I am here. Let no man (or broad) call SB a damn wimp.

My window at the house is still covered over by yard sale fucking items because the kids decided to extend the fucking sale through next weekend, too. Whatever. I'm easy going for a bastard. The kids and their three kids visit my doddering ass and that shit is like a hurricane descending and LEAVING GREAT AND VAST PEACE in its wake, but I sort of enjoy the temporary chaos MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S TEMPORARY.

Anyhoo, SB has also adopted the kitten the kids rescued from the highway. She is black and medium-haired and sweet and three months old. I've named her Bella. Mercer and Ginger (the Diarrhectic Wunderkind) are tolerating her nicely because they are cranky old farts like me, and change is not their bag. In fact, Bella got tired of Ginger smelling on her and took a whack at Ginger. She may wind up ruling the whole damn roost because Mercer could give a shit. She has the personality of Jerry Garcia. Her ass is LAID BACK, motherfuckers.

Well, there's your update. I'm still alive, just barely. I got in a fight over the campfire with my conservative cousin, Chris, over the weekend, but that shit is another story for another day. We weren't rolling around on the ground or anything. IT WAS A VERBAL CONFRONTATION. Just say Bush or Cheney around me and my ass goes BALLISTIC! It is also good not to ask SB, "What about all those lives Bush saved by going into Iraq?" Excuse fucking me. Say whaaaaaaa?

My love to all you motherfuckers. Hope all is swell.

8 comments:

Syd said...

SB, hope that you feel better. A sick SB is better than no SB. I'm with you on the Bush/Cheney and conservative discussions. I just keep quiet unless provoked. And then I have to speak up. I have difficulty with the entire conservative ideology. But I digress...
Hope that the new kitty is there to stay.

Lou said...

That was sweet, and not at all sarcastic or bastardly, giving the kitty a home!

Lady Lemon said...

Dude! I was wondering where you'd been! Glad you're feeling slightly better. Being sick sucks The Ass.

Did you see the post Ms Moon did in your honor/style? It was fucking hilar. Gots to check it out.

Congrats on new kitten. Kittens really are the cutest things in the whole world. Take a pic for us?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
Thank you. Love you.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lou,
I try and downplay the sweet part, but you keep bringing it up. I am a curmudgeon with lapses.

I love you.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lady Lemon,
I am playing catch up on the blog reading, so thanks for pointing the way to the post. It cracked me up. I dearly love Ms. Moon. She is my idol.

Love you too,

SB

birdpress said...

So sorry you have been sick. How nice that you gave a stray kitty a home! I'm surprised you named her Bella and not Misery or some shit. You are so soft. ;)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Birdy,
Glad to hear from you. Don't let the word get out about my being soft, okay? I have a reputation to maintain as a hard-ass motherfucker.

Thanks for reading. So happy to hear from you! Hope all is well.

Love, SB.