Thursday, July 9, 2009

Fuck Personalized Ring Tones

SB is crabby today. Go figure. If I have to listen to one more motherfucker's personalized ring tone (at EXTREMELY LOUD volume, might I add), I am going to kill a bitch!

The guy next to me has classical music as his ring tone. I'd still like to strangle his highbrow cultured ass.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE SUBJECTED TO YOUR DAMN MUSIC, MOTHERFUCKERS! I DON'T CARE HOW CLEVER A CHOICE YOU THINK YOU'VE MADE. I WOULD STILL LIKE TO STICK THAT PHONE ABOUT A MILE UP YOUR GODDAMN SPHINCTER!

I remember that great modern philosopher, Johnny Depp, saying he opened his infamous bar, The Viper Room, because he was tired of being subjected to other people's music when he was out drinking. Amen to that shit. Johnny is SB's soul brother. We both enjoy Miracle Whip and despise other people's shitty music. His ass should dump Vanessa and marry me.

12 comments:

Alec Beattie said...

I've got a duck quacking as my ringtone...

All This Trouble... said...

I prefer the payphone ringtone myself. Reminds me of the old days and good times.

Miracle Whip sucks, though.

-ATT

Ms. Moon said...

I think the line of people who are annoyed by other people's ring tones would go halfway around the world.
I think that people who think JD should drop Vanessa and marry them would go around the world.
I'd be in both lines. I could hold your place in one while you got in the other and did the same for me.

Lady Lemon said...

Um, I love you and all SB, but if Johnny ever leaves that skinny hobag it is going to be for ME, thankyouverymuch!

Ringtones are annoying as shit. Even worse is when people have those fucking calltone things. As in you dial them, and then you get the voice that says "please enjoy this calltone while we connect you". That's followed by some Sting Fields of Gold, or T-Pain, or Dixie Chicks or WHATEVER. Now, a ringtone? At least the owned of the phone has to hear that. The calltone? What the fucking fuckshit is that?

Ok, sorry for ranting in your comments section.

Loves to you, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Alec,
I'm sorry, but that would be as annoying as shit.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

All This Trouble,
Miracle Whip rules, mama!

Much love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
That would work.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lady Lemon,
Your ranting is one of the many reasons that we are friends.

Birds of a feather and all. . .

Loads of love,

SB

Sheria said...

I fear to admit it, but I like my ringtone. I have no idea what it is, just some generic bit of music that was pre-loaded in the ringtone selectins on the phone. Of course, like you, I get annoyed at everyone else's ringtone. Do as I say, not as I do. Death to the rigntones (except mine). It just dawned on me that pehaps we could start a movement, sort of like PETA. When someone's phone rings with an annoying ringtone, we grab it from their hand and smash it to the ground and then throw red paint on them.

Syd said...

Oh SB, I like my Pink Floyd and Rolling Stones ring tones. But put my phone on vibrate when in public. And I do use Miracle Whip. Sorry...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sheria,
I love that idea! I'm only sorry I didn't think of it first.

We are friends for a reason, and I loves ya.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
Miracle Whip is good southern food, goddammit. Nectar of the Gods!

At least you are polite enough to switch the fucking cell to vibrate. Clearly, you were raised right.

I hope your school trip went well yesterday. I missed you.

Love, SB.