Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Orb Update

I still can't see a dicking thing in the middle distances. It's driving me fucking crazy. You motherfuckers had better appreciate my posting AT ALL, due to the fact that I have to sit with my nose nearly touching the keyboard in order to see the screen to type. I bleed for you, motherfuckers!

Luckily, I have a follow-up appointment with the eye surgeon today. That motherfucker HAD BETTER find a damn solution for this dilemma and STAT! SB is not real patient with discomfort. I always said I would be ONE ANGRY blind motherfucker. I would, too! I'd be hitting motherfuckers with my cane and shit. Okay, you've got me--I'm angry now. I'll admit it. I'd just be MORE ANGRIER if I were blind. And don't be correcting my damn English and scoffing that ANGRIER is not a damn word. I know that! I'm taking literary license here, people. I'm damn blind and I'm allowed. Blindness entitles you to do shit like butcher the English language.

Anyhoo, there's a little sun here in Buttfuck, Ohio, today, and my brother Nick, over in England, says he's walking to classes today because it's sunny there. How's the weather where you all are at? You can tell I'm getting all old and shit, because I actually give a flying fuck how the weather is, even in places where I am not.

My inlaws used to sit and watch The Weather Channel for hours. I didn't get that shit. Seemed boring to me, but that may well be SB in a few years--watching the weather channel with my damn fucked-up orbs. Never say never, motherfuckers! If I teach your dumb asses nothing else, let it be that.

12 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Weather here is gray and drizzly and supposed to get rat's ass cold tonight. Yay, right?
And just wait until you start watching birds. That's when you're really old.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sorry to hear it Ms. Moon. So far, you're the only member of my blog family to respond, so thanks!

Love,

SB

Jennifer Rains said...

There is no sun in Coal-hole, PA today as we watch the mountains of plowed up white shit slowly, slowly melt away...gee, I can finally see my car out there!

Sick of snow, Jenn

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jenn, my dear, SB is with you on the snow.

Love you tons.

mrs. miss alaineus said...

it was various shades of gray here today in the feral mitten. i hope the dr. appointment goes well. the world needs sb and so do i! i loves me some sb after a long day at work and if they can make steven hawking and that dumb critic guy whose names escapes me with the two thumbs up show talk then they can make you see right!


xxalainaxx

gingermagnolia said...

:( I'm just now catching up. This blows.

The Dish said...

I appreciate the bleeding sacrifice, SB. Really, I do.

Weather here today? The sun was shining and it was warm enough for some of the snow to melt. I will take it!

Kathleen Scott said...

Hope your appointment today went well and you're seeing easier.

Ms. Moon is mistaken about bird-watching. We are NOT old. Not as long as we're still moving.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks Miss A.! I loves you back.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ginger,
Good to hear from you girl. Thanks.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
I'm with you, babe. So sick of the goddamn snow.

Love,

Moi

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Kathleen,
Thanks. No, you are not OLD.

Much love,

SB