Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My New Neighbours Are Moving In

My new neighbours are moving in to the other half of the double I live in as I type this. I went home for lunch, and Teeny Weeny Puppini has taken to watching all the move-in action, laying on the kitchen table that looks out on the neighbour's entryway. Her new name is: Puppini Kravitz, in honour of Mrs. Kravitz (the nosy bitch) from Bewitched. That feline bitch would normally NEVER lay on the damn kitchen table. She is not even that interested in sitting in windows. Curiousity killed the--well--yeah. They say that shit because it's true, motherfuckers!

[Oh, and I forgot to mention that the new neighbours are ex-biker, ex-drug using, born-agains. I wish they were just drug using bikers! I mean, I'd rather. I forgot to hang my black upside-down crucifix on the porch last night. Fuck me.]

25 comments:

Christina Lindsay said...

Oh dear! you poor thing. Born again Christians! Love to you xx

Jeannie said...

Oh, I can see this will be great reading for a while. We should have dueling new neighbor posts once mine move in.

Tom said...

Yeah, drug using bikers sounds like a whole lot more fun. We should have a really loud party with lot's of ear shredding music, copious consumption of alcohol, the sacrifice of various farm animals and other obscene behavior, all in the name of welcoming the newbies to the 'hood. Y' know, it's my birthday tomorrow. What a wondeful way to celebrate! Pissing off the born agains! I fucking love doing that!

Syd said...

Sounds dismal. Not too many wine and cheese parties I guess. Or hot tub soirees with them.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jeannie,
Now, there's an idea!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Tom,
Happy Birthday and many, many, more!!!!!!

Love,

SB

Ms. Moon said...

Yeah. Get this shit straight RIGHT AWAY! Otherwise, you'll be fending off pamphlets and prayers day and night.

The Dish said...

If they knock on your door and ask you if you have found your personal lord and savior, tell them you have. Richard Simmons.

Chic Mama said...

Hmmmm, sounds like you're going to have fun! ;0) xx

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Cannot imagine ex-druggie, ex-biker, born agains. It is a nightmare.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Born again Christaians are worse than the ones who were born to it the first time! Throw ex-drug users on top of it and they really think their shit is holy. Talk about trading one crutch for another.

So what should I arrive to perform the black mass? ;)

Maggie May said...

man i used to love Bewitched and i remember mrs. kravitz

Mr.Mischief said...

Reminds me of what I told the wife I wanted to do-we have three churches from our corner to the next corner 400 yards away..I want to sit in rocking chairs on Sunday mornings with devil horns and tails on, and pitchforks leaning against the front door and wave at everyone as they come and go, just for shits and giggles

Wildernesschic said...

You have been tagged ... I hope you enjoy it, todays blog xx

Put The Lotion In The Basket said...

Born Again Christians
Damn There Goes The Neighbourhood.

Lori said...

Oh my! Getting new neighbors is like the lottery. You never win! Maybe you will be lucky and they won't want to socialze. You've had a rough go of it this past month. Recovering bikers for Jesus? Only you my dear, only you....lol...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
That's a good one, babe.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Bucko,
Yes indeedy, my friend. It is.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Melly Mel,
Come by anytime. Laugh.

Love you.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Maggie,
Me too. I still think Elizabeth Montgomery is one of the prettiest women EVER.

Love you lots.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mr. M.,
I think you should do that. I really do.

Ruth,
Thanks, as ever. SB loves you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Brother Nick,
You can say that fucking shit AGAIN.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lori,
Yes, ONLY ME. You are absolutely goddamn right.

Love you shitloads,

SB

Gledwood said...

Ooer. Maybe they can put you in touch with their old dealer, kill the pain and all that...

Andie said...

Oh dear! My inlaws are born again..
It's so hard to not plug my ears and sing "LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" when they go all Jesus on my ass. :/

"You need to quite smoking Andrea, Just turn to Jesus like I did and he will take away All of your cravings!" ..

mmmhmm.

"I don't need to see a psychiatrist regularily for my SCHIZOPHRENIA because Jesus is always there for me..he talks to me, you know."

....OH..OOOOOOOOOH.

How do I keep my mouth shut? I don't know..wonders will never cease? Unfortunately I have to behave. :(

I am just thinking of all the fun you can have with these new neighbours! *cues evil laughter*

:)