Monday, March 1, 2010

I'm Here But I Still Can't See Dick

The eye surgery is over. The cataract is gone, and I have good long-distance sight in one eye, and the other motherfucking eye sees good up close. That shit is annoying. But whatever. It is not in SB's nature to complain. Yeah, right.

I just discovered that I am wholly fucked for middle distance, and since I work on the computer, it kind of impedes my functionality here at the office. I have to sit with my head REALLY CLOSE to the computer to see a dicking thing.

I have a follow-up appointment with the eye surgeon tomorrow, so hopefully the motherfucker can give me a prescription for contacts or some shit.

This sucks. Forgive me if I do not comment on your blogs or post much until this shit is corrected.

p.s. If there are typos, I beg your forgiveness. I've given my eyesight up for Lent.

21 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

I thought about calling you about fifteen times this weekend but it got busy as hell around here.
Be patient. Hopefully this will all work out and you will be able to see again.
I love you, Ms. Bastard!
Mary

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I LOVE YOU, TOO, MARY MOON!

Mel said...

Geeeze that sucks. Sorry you can't see for shit. I've been feeling sorry for myself because my eyesight is going to hell in a handbag, and I can't focus on anything closer than arm's lenght and my arms aren't long enough anymore. Can't see across the room without glasses, can't see the hand in front of my face with or without them. Plus I have really dry eyes that cause blurry vision and was taking a prescription eye drop to rehydrate them, and guess which side effect I got - yep, blurry vision. Thats just not right. Thanks for letting me commiserate on your page, hope that dr. fixes you up quick! Take care!

honeyluna said...

I sure hope they get your some middle distance sight soon.
Love you!

downtown guy said...

They'll get you evened out. I'm blind as a bat myself, so you've got nothing but sympathy from me.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Glad you're back, even in a limited capacity. Get well soon because I miss your smartass!!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Mel. Blindness fucking sucks.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Honeyluna and DTG,
I love you two. You're my famdamily.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Melly Mel,
Thanks. You are a love.

Steph(anie) said...

I feel for you. Take care of yourself.

white rabbit said...

All will be well. I'm so shortsighted I couldn't see my own asshole if I stuck my head between my legs.

But who wants to see that stuff anyway!

Hank is right - evened out it will be :D

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Steph. Will do.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

White Rabbit,
You crack me up. Thanks for the good wishes.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

We take our eyesight for granted until we have issues. Now, I can't go anywhere without the fricking reading glasses. Glad things went well.

Kathleen Scott said...

Glad you made it through and can see again, albeit within ranges.

Almost 30 years ago the eye doctor put me in contacts that focused one near, one far and told me my brain would reconcile the difference. The upshot was that I can read and drive without glasses. However, to work on the computer has required glasses that equalize the distance for the eyes. If that happens to you, I suggest 'fuck you' glasses, maybe red ones with rhinestones?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Bucko,
Thanks, man. You are a doll.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Kathleen,
The fuck you glasses thing made me laugh. I needed that today.

Love you.

Jeannie said...

Hope they get you sorted out - I'm sure they will - sucks to be you now though. Glad it went as well as it did and you can at least see.

Cesspool death has to be the worst - don't you think?

Syd said...

SB, I'm glad that your surgery is over and was successful. Hopefully, there will be some adjustments for reading at the computer. I've had to start wearing those stupid reading glasses most days.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Jeannie. Yeah, cesspool death would be one shitty way to go. I know that was bad, but I still own that I said it.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Syd. Yeah, reading glasses may be in my future, my brothah.