Have the Time Warner motherfuckers no compassion? My ass has actually had to listen to music, read, sit on the porch, drink more wine and smoke more cigs the last couple evenings. If you can fucking imagine that. I could have been watching Real Housewives reruns! What has the world come to?
Cable Guy is now scheduled to come on Saturday. I think I will sit on the goddamn front porch AND put a damn sign in the front yard, directing his/her dumb ass to my abode. Cable Guy is due sometime between 8:00 and high noon. I will just plug the damn coffee pot in on the porch and sit there in my damn jammies so I don't miss the motherfucker! I SO TOTALLY WILL, too. Take that shit to the bank.
My fucking ass will look something like this:
My ass can Gladys Kravitz all the neighbors while I'm out there and see what's going on in the hood. It's important to be nosy. If I teach your mentally-challenged asses nothing else, let it be that shit right there!
8 comments:
Don't forget to tease your hair, Gladys. And drink straight from the gin bottle.
Damn your art SB
What does it mean
Cats a Woman?
Green shoes?
Check trousers
its a miasma of colours, thoughts spiral
Damn Your Eyes SB
What does it all Mean??
LOL
NIck
OMG I want one of those, I am so the cat lady (although only got one so far and did the right thing and got him neutered. so no cat pee smells in my place).
I would suggest you put the sign way up high on a flag pole so they can see were you live, maybe add flashing lights (who cares about the neighbours). In my experience these guys tend to be a bit thick so any guidance to help them find your place will be needed.
Don't know if they're like this in the US but over here they'll say 'we'll be there anytime between 12-6pm' then they either (a) turn up at 6.30 or (b) leave a note outside your door saying you weren't in (when you were in fact practically posted next to the front door! They should be forced to wear squeaky shoes).
Good luck with that. Hopefully you will return to civilisation soon!
What about internet TV? Don't some channels do re-runs online?
x Kelly
I've actually done that, stood outside with a sign. Though I think it was the pizza dude in my case that time. I so feel your pain it's amazing how much stock we put into the damned television. How did people live before cable? I mean god three or four channels, just kill me please. We're so spoiled these days. Sorry you're living like a nun til Saturday.
Hugz
You are so funny. I had a big laugh over this today.
It's gonna have to be a damn vodka bottle, Ms. Moon. Don't like the gin--except in Bloody Mary's. Gin and Mr. T's Spicy Bloody Mary mix rock! Trust my ass on this.
Love you,
SB
Malchik,
I, too, have been THAT DESPERATE for a pizza to put a damn sign up. Usually when I have consumed too much alcohol.
I once got a blister burn on my mouth because I was drinking and let myself get too hungry. The pizza was scalding, and my ass scarfed it! It looked like I had the damn herp or some shit.
Your comment made me laugh. Love you.
SB
Syd,
I live to make you laugh.
SB loves ya! You are SB family, like it or not, you poor captive.
SB
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