Thursday, April 9, 2009

Scary Doll of the Month: Calamity Jane

Yes, it's a Newman-Breen, motherfuckers. SB doesn't know who the hell Calamity Jane is, but I had to feature this fug doll because of the interesting pose in the photo. I think Calamity has been ridden hard and put away wet on the range once too often, so to speak. Her ass sure as shit didn't get THAT bow-legged from just ridin' horses, peeps. It gets mighty lonesome on the range!

Either that, or Calamity's ass is doing some strange sort of pee-pee dance because she's got to piss so badly. Come on. Don't act all superior, like you don't know what the pee-pee dance is. You've done it, and don't act like you haven't.

Growing up, invariably, the kid next door to us (the youngest of the group) would get so wrapped up in a neighborhood baseball game or trip to the creek to gather snakes, that he would get excited and do the pee-pee dance to prolong his having to run up to his house to go to the bathroom.

He would almost always wait just a little too long. About the time his hand was clutching for the back door, the motherfucker would piss his pants. Happened like clockwork.

Kev is a police officer here in town now. I can only guess that he takes time to stop at McDonalds when he needs to, or maybe, he gets so wrapped up in dusting for prints or dealing with perps that he pisses his uniform. Ohio's finest--the pissy pants po-po.

If you get stopped for a ticket here in Ohio, and the officer has piss stains on his trousers, be nice. Don't get all sassy and shit. Relax and tell Kev SB says yo. It might get you out of a ticket.

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