Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Had an Unexpected Visitor in the Shower with Me this Morning

No, people, it was not Russell Crowe, goddammit. I was just lathering away, and I looked up momentarily, and there is a tiny black kitten (Bella) in the shower with me. I guess her dumb ass went to hop up on the bath tub ledge and just slid on in. I had to laugh. You should have seen the look on her face.

The other night, the Moms came over to watch the Georgia game with me, and we noticed that Bella was trying to get something behind the vacuum cleaner in the corner of the kitchen. I figured that the little mogster had lost a ball or a toy, so I grabbed the vacuum and lifted that shit up, and before I knew it, Bella had this twig-like thing in her mouth. And I started to reach down, thinking she's gotten a hold of an old plant branch or something and then, I notice the tiny little dangling feet. It was a damn mouse tail hanging out of Bella's mouth. Of all my five cats (four of which are grown and one of which lived outside for a time), the baby got a mouse.

Every time one of the grown cats would try to get in on the action, Bella would growl really loudly and deeply and that was that. It was her kill by fucking God.

Well, of course, Bella toyed with the poor rodent, and in between screaming, cursing, and climbing on a chair, because she would release the mouse, let it start to get away, and then cover it with her entire body, I managed to get her out of the house.

Once outside, I picked Bella up by her tail and her back legs and shook that cat like the bejeezus, and finally, Bella's ass dropped that poor mouse, and it scurried under the neighbor's front porch.

Never a dull moment around my place. Not with five cats and a mentally unhinged canine.

And, of course, Georgia won. Go dawgs!

10 comments:

gingermagnolia said...

Eek! A mouse! My ass would've been jumping on a chair, too...not gonna lie.

Ms. Moon said...

Kitty cats love them's mousies. I used to have a cat who brought in squirrels, baby rabbits and the occasional snake. Oh boy, that was big fun.

Put The Lotion In The Basket said...

GO BELLA
(waves big false hands)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Snakes! Holy shit. I HATE SNAKES!

Cats are always so proud of their kill. They want to parade that shit around.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nick,
For X-mas, my ass is going to send you a BIG FALSE HAND. You are clearly obsessed with American tackiness.

I love you.

Syd said...

Bella is something else. Rebecca is my equivalent or was until she has eaten herself fat with kitty kibble. Now she just looks at me and meows. She lives in the garage because she tends to mark in the house. I rescued her from the island's garbage collection site. She is calico and very cute.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
You are very sweet to rescue Rebecca. I love cats.

Love you too,

SB

birdpress said...

Aww, you didn't let her have her hard-won prize? The poor mouse probably went off to suffer a slow, painful death. Just sayin'.

I also had a surprise visitor in my shower yesterday morning! I saw something black through the glass shower door. I thought it was a mouse! But no, it was a spider! Hugest motherfucking spider I have ever seen in person, I swear. I had to scream for my husband to come and get it. I wanted him to capture it and put it outside and he looked at me like I had two heads before smashing it with a fist-full of paper towels, screaming like a girl the whole time.

lilacsandy said...

No Ms Moon.... NO SNAKES!!! Ours started easy with earthworms and are grading up thru beetles, moths, butterflies, dragonflies and now, frogs.... please, no meeces!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Birdpress,
Christ, SB HATES spiders! I'd smash that fucker too.

Love,

SB