Friday, September 11, 2009

Santa Clause: THE REAL TRUTH

SB: Kids at school have been saying Santa Clause isn't real. I need you to tell me the truth RIGHT NOW. AND IF YOU DON'T TELL ME THE TRUTH, I WILL NEVER EVER BELIEVE ANOTHER WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH MY ENTIRE LIFE. NOT EVER. I'LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN, AND ALL YOUR GREAT GRANDCHILDREN WILL KNOW THAT THEIR NANA IS A LIAR.

GRANDMA: Well, don't tell your parents I told you, but the kids at school are right. There is no Santa Clause.

This was a conversation (nearly word for word) between poor Grandma Peg and I, when SB was a little manipulative fucker. My ass was either a harsh negotiator or a valiant truthseeker. I'll go with valiant truthseeker.

5 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Me too.
If my grandchild asks me the Santa question I'm going to say, "Are you fucking kidding me? You still believe in that shit? Grow UP!"
Nah. Not really. But it's funny to think I would.

J. said...

My husband asked his mom about this when he was little. She said of course santa is real, his sister didn't believe. My husband still got gifts from santa every year, his sister didn't.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Oh my gosh, that was so me.... I can remember many various conversations that were SO violently manipulative and bullying!

One was about deer and hunting...and one was about the word "retarded."

I was absolutely SURE I was the only person in the world who could be right and absolutely sure that no one was allowed to lie... of course that didn't include me.

"Jess do you have your room clean" (as I'm shoving the last bit of mess under the bed and in the closet) "YES MOM!"

Sarcastic Bastard said...

J.,
That's funny. Poor girl.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jess,
We must be secretly related. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Come back soon.

Love, SB.