Friday, February 19, 2010

Adjust Your Damn Junk at Home

This morning, on the way in to the office, bumfuckfucking early (I had to get up early to drop Raj the Schlub off at the vet, because he is getting his nuts chopped), I got behind this 40-something guy in a big-ass Cadillac and that motherfucker was doing everything BUT driving. Motherfucker was messing with his hair, adjusting his seat belt, drinking coffee, putting his sunglasses on, and adjusting his damn junk. It wore me out just watching him. I kid you not. People who are spastic like that just drive me fucking nuts. Then the dumb motherfucker got up to the 4-way stop and didn't even bother with a damn turn single.

PLEASE PEOPLE, ADJUST YOUR DAMN JUNK AT HOME. Adjusting your junk in the car may cause a damn accident.

8 comments:

May said...

I saw a dude reading a magazine while making a turn the other day. I also hate it when I see women applying mascara while driving. I mean really, even if they manage to avoid hitting someone, if I did that I'd put the damn wand in my eye. I can barely avoid stabbing myself in the eye when I'm standing still in my bathroom. Mother fuckers! Drivers make me insane with rage, which is one of the reasons I walk every damn where.

Petit fleur said...

Men have always been notorious about adjusting their, ahem "stuff" at the wrong times. I agree. Nobody just DRIVES anymore, it pisses me off!

I think it's especially dangerous in the icey weather that you get up there in BF OH.

Hang in.
xo pf

Ms. Moon said...

One of these days I expect to see someone grilling something on a hibachi in the seat next to them as they drive.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

May,
I fucking hate that. It hurts. I stab myself in the damn orbs with the mascara wand from time to time too. What a bitch.

I love you tons!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

PF,
Nobody drives anymore. SO TRUE. We are a nation of multi-taskers. I hate that shit. I just REFUSE.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Wouldn't shock me at all, babe.

Syd said...

LOL to Mrs. Moon. I agree--I've seen a lot of things that I didn't want to see driving the interstates.

The Dish said...

My Dad sayd that all cars in Texas come without turn signals. Cracks my ass up!