Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Jesus God, What an Ugly Cat

You have to go pretty far to find a feline that SB finds unattractive. Okay, I lied. Actually, my next door neighbors have one of the fuggest cats I've ever seen. He is just slobby and fat (his belly actually drags the ground), and the hairy fucker has this perpetually sour look on his face. Since he's an outdoor cat, I woke up in the middle of the night last night, temporarily alarmed about his being out all night in the frigid snow. But then I remembered how unattractive the fucker is, and the thought occurred to me, that if he dies, I won't have to be startled by his sudden appearance in my yard this spring and summer. I won't find the old sour fucker on my porch, glaring at me when I try to enjoy a peaceful moment on the sunny deck. So then I decided I was okay with that prospect and rolled over and went back to sleep.

14 comments:

Nigel said...

Some cats are evil. This one proves the point.

Syd said...

That must be one of the hairless cats. It isn't very attractive and I really don't understand the purpose, except for those people who have allergies.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nigel,
Yes, it surely does.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
I don't get the majesty of these cats either, but I know some people are crazy about them.

Ms. Moon said...

Honest thoughts from an honest woman who sleeps an honest sleep.

Mel said...

Oh my lord. My traumatic year at WVU involved living with 2 Gary's a Dan and a black cat that looked just like that one named Metdhu. Not a looker. He was a runner, and got hit many times on those hills, but always came straggling home. Living with a bunch of guys, he wasn't exactly a love. Toilet trained though, he always looked pissed to have to use the toilet. I hope he never got squished.
Thanks for the memories!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mel,
I am fascinated by toilet-trained cats. I can't imagine. The luxury of not having a cocksucking litter box to scoop! Dare to dream!

Bethany said...

i don't beleive you. i think you tossed and turned.

The Dish said...

That cat looks like a fucking alien. If I woke up to that thing sitting on my chest I would have a heart attack.

Lori said...

Your photo reminds me of why I love my damn dog so much!!!

michelle said...

When I was a kid, one of our neighbors had a cat who used the toilet. We all thought it was the strangest thing. They were a strange family.

The poor kitty fell into the toilet and drowned.

So sad

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Michelle,
You're shitting me. The motherfucker drowned in that little bit of water? Was this cat retarded?

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Bethany,
I most certainly did NOT toss and turn. Not one damn iota.

Petit fleur said...

That thing looks like a dying alien! yikes!!