Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Goddamn Qi Is Still Out-of-Whack

I had a second appointment with my acupuncturist last night. I looked like a human fucking pin cushion. Bitch even stuck a needle in the top of my head. Guess the qi in my brain is fucked up, too. That would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Anyhoo, Ms. Acupuncture is worried about her business dropping off due to the economy and the recent bad weather here in the Midwest. She was a bit scattered last night, to say the least. I had to remind her of what she is treating me for when she wrote out my receipt before I left her office. Of course, I thought that shit was hysterically funny, but when I told the Moms, she was ALARMED. Ms. A was asking my about my high blood pressure. I told her that I didn't have high blood pressure to my knowledge. Laugh.

I am sleeping better, and I feel somewhat optimistic this morning (MIRACLE!), despite listening to Morrissey on the way in. I am still struggling with cutting the alcohol and cleaning up the diet, but as Ms. Moon and Bill Murray wisely remind me: BABY STEPS. Baby stepping away from the drink. Baby stepping away from shitty processed carbs.

Tomorrow, Raj the Siamese Schlub, gets his dick chopped. I think that motherfucking sentence is a good way to end this post. [She may need to stick another needle in my brain.]


Ms. Moon said...

Well, take the miracles and leave the rest. I'm very proud of you, you know.

afk4life said...

Here ya go:
Something like that, no?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Thank you for being proud of me. I am always telling Nick and Cousin Sheila how proud of them I am, because I don't think we say that often enough to the young people. So thank you. Even though I'm old, I appreciate it.

Love, SB

Marco Dante said...

Wow, that's a little scary. If she did not remember what she was treating you for, how did she know where to stick the pins? I think I'll stick with yoga and massages as a way to keep things flowing. Best of luck with that. Marco

michelle said...

Glad you're feeling good today SB

Love you

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Marco. It is always good to hear from you.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Michelle. I was feeling better until I just got out of a two-hour meeting of fuckery. Now, I feel pounded on again.

Syd said...

Interesting about the top of the head puncture. I didn't know that they did that. Yeow!!!