Monday, June 8, 2009

I Have Cable, Motherfuckers!

Not only that, my ass has a high-def DVR! Can I hear a round of applause? Now, that shit's magic! I am actually IN LOVE with my TV currently. I do not jest. If I could fuck it, I would. Truly.

SB also went out, when she was semi-tanked on beer over the weekend, and got her nose pierced. It's my personal rebellion, man. The husband didn't like pierced noses, and my ass watched SO DAMN MUCH TV, he didn't want to fork out for a DVR either. SO NOW I AM JUST IN HOG HEAVEN!

I even added The Sundance Channel today. I upgraded, as they say in cable speak, mofos. How could I have a DVR and not get The Sundance Channel or LOGO? Now, I have both, and I can watch documentaries on transexuals and shit. Did I ever tell you SB loves the transexuals? Well, not literally. It's just that a lot of transexuals are so brutally honest, I just dig them. I also admire transexuals because I think they are tremendously brave people.

This is a tranny-friendly page, motherfuckerrs! If you don't like it, go read the Anita Bryant fan page or some shit. May she and her ignorant Miss America ass rot!

21 comments:

All This Trouble... said...

I think you may be confusing sex with love but...

Whatever! Rock on, SB!

I've had piercings back in the old days. Nose, tongue, tragus...No genital piercings, though. My genitals are afraid of being penetrated by anything non-organic. Now...where's my bamboo dildo and that cage-free chicken?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

All That Trouble,
You make SB's ass laugh.

You are funny as fuck.

Love,

SB

afk4life said...

SB
Never lose that rebel quality. And, I like this approach, not rebel without a cause, rebel with a DVR :p

Trannies don't bother me much one way or the other. (Read that line twice lol).

<3
Doug

Lady Lemon said...

SB, I didn't know you were a woman! I just assumed from the name you were a man! Doh!

I love the trannys too. LOGO is the shit. Have you ever seen Hedwig and the Angry Inch? I was just exposing my boyfriend to it last night. He seemed pretty intrigued, I must say.

YAY for DVRs! I got one a few months back and it really is a life changer. I get pissed when I try to watch a regular TV because I can't pause and rewind live TV, I'm all "what the shit?".

Oh! You should watch the Kathy Griffin premiere tonight on Bravo. It's totally one of the best shows on TV. You can always DVR it!!!!

Ms. Moon said...

I would so love to have a beer with you, Ms. Bastard. I love nose piercings and if I loved my nose, I would get one. I am sure yours looks awesome.
Now. As to the trannies- ah. Got a few I love with all my heart. Thanks for being who you are and like me, loving the folks who are not afraid to be who they are really and truly.

birdpress said...

Hurray for Sundance, high-def and transexuals! Life is beautiful!

Syd said...

I dig the nose piercing SB. And well what can I say about transexuals--they can be kinda scary looking to me.I wouldn't want my genitals changed about so that my penis becomes a nose or one of Lorena Bobbett's trophies. No thanks. As far as Sundance and cable, I dig that. Good for you.

Put The Lotion In The Basket said...

Nice one SB
Ya live it now OK.
Trannies are cool, yup.
I think they are like chimney sweeps, if ya touch em they bring ya good luck, weird ah.
Love as always
Nick XX

kelly Al-Saleh said...

Yipppeee! Well done!

I'm now in similar position to what you were in... my i-phone has died. 'White screen of death' they call it (searched for help on the net).
So I'm phone-less which for me is like being limbless (not legless cos that's induced by booze and what I would consider a happy time).

We've had scary stuff happening politically here... The BNP (British National Front) have won seats in government. This is like KluKluxKlan getting into the White House! Ironic that whilst the US is showing signs of hope politically, we're going backward in the UK.

Fingers crossed they won't win any more seats (so far it's just up North).

I had my nose pierced in a club years ago but it kept getting infected and nasty so had to let it close. Plus I had to keep taking it out and covering with foundation when I visited my dad (who's from the Middle East & would probably disown me for that).

enjoy your new-found sanity

xKelly

Fishwhiskers said...

Got the piercings, got cable and love trannies. Even used to be the moderator for a friends' stage tranny show yayyy! Fishy xx

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Doug, My Dear,
Your comment on trannies made me laugh.

Love you,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lady Lemon,
A lot of people have thunk (LOL) I was a guy. I went with Sarcastic Bastard because Sarcastic Bitch was too cliche, too feminine, and didn't have as ballsy a ring. I'm a ballsy kinda broad.

I will check out Hedwig and the Angry Inch on your recommendation. I will pass on Kathy Griffin though. She annoys the shit out of me. I want to slap her damn face.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Maybe one day we can have that beer. My mother and I take an annual trip down to Savannah. Are you far from there?

We aren't going this year, though, due to the divorce. Maybe next year.

Love ya and glad to have "met" you. I love your blog and really think you are great.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Birdy,
Yes, life is beautiful.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
You make me laugh. That was funny.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

SB's Dear Love Nick,
I'm going to run out and try and touch a transexual today. I need all the damn luck I can get!

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Kell,
Hope your i-phone gets to feeling better soon. My sympathies, sister.

I've been hearing about your scary political happenings. My sympathies on that as well. Sounds like you all have your share of morons, just like America.

Love you,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Fishy,
I know we would be good friends if we lived near each other. We'd be hangin' out, girl!

Love you,

SB

Lou said...

My son got his chin pierced (right underneath the bottom lip). He said it was a pain in the ass (ha,ha!! that's odd!) and took it out after a month and forgot about it.

Put The Lotion In The Basket said...

Hey dont just touch eem, give em a great big SNOG
LOL
Have a good n S
Nick
Muah Muah

Mark said...

EVERYONE is secretly fascinated by transexuals. People who say they aren't are liars.
The best time in Provincetown is the week of the TALL SHIPS, which is when all the transvestites (most of them straight) come out for the weekend.
I know I'm mixing up transsexuals and transvestites, but it's easy to do.