Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Update on that HOT Mess, Touchdown Jesus

It wasn't bad enough that the motherfuckers at Monroe's Solid Cock Church (okay, it's really Solid Rock, but whatevs) subjected hapless startled drivers to the Touchdown Jesus "sculpture" that burnt next to I-75 yesterday, but now they are threatening Ohio drivers as well. Their rolling billboard is currently announcing: WE'LL BE BACK. What a relief! I guess the assholes are going to spend another $700,000.00 or so to build another eyesore blight on the fucking landscape, instead of feeding the poor or doing something equally charitable and worthy with all that dough. Did I mention these people are assholes?

I understand from a local news report that motherfuckers from all over the world stopped in to have their pitchure made with Touchdown Jesus. In light of this, SB has a question: What kind of cheap-assed motherfucking vacation was that shit?

I could just see Daddums telling Steve and I that we were going to stay at Quality fucking Inn and go have our pictures taken with Touchdown Jesus for the annual family vacation. He and the Moms would have to bribe us with a pool at the motel to make that shit go over, and we'd still be thinking: Those cheap motherfuckers and shooting them the evil side-eye.

15 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

You have no idea how much I adore you.
You are loved.
Good morning!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

My Dear Ms. Moon,

Good morning back.

Just remember I love you MAS!

All This Trouble... said...

Isn't it really just terrible? The sculpture is dog-butt ugly. It really is. Or was. J.C. took care of it. Yes, he did.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

All This Trouble,
It is fucking tragic, babe.

Love you.

The Dish said...

Seriously? They are rebuilding that fucking thing? Good grief. They should give me that money instead. I will use it to build my shrine to Edward Norton.

Jennifer Rains said...

Glad you posted a pic of the thing before "tragic" fire. I was wondering what it looked like since the sorry-ass news report I saw didn't show one...I wasn't missing much was I? I thought the same thing also...why waste $700,000 on a new eye sore when that money could help a lot of people. This "church" has their signals crossed I'd say!
Nice post.
Love ya,
Jenn

Sweden said...

actually me and 5 friends drove down to lexington kentucky and drove by this statue stopped in awe and took pics of it lol

Syd said...

Is there something in the water in Ohio? I know that you are really from Savannah and suffering up there but Ohio has some weird stuff.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
I'd rather have a big-assed statue of Ed Norton than this shit.

Jenn,
Signals crossed translates to assholes in my language, but you are much more polite than I am. Laugh.

Sweden,
Wish I had known you then. We could have met at the Jesus statue for a few beers. Laugh.

Syd,
Ohioans are insane. I was born here, so I can say that.

Love to all!

downtown guy said...

I would stop and take a picture with it. I'm also a sucker for Goofy Golfs and giant dinosaurs next to old gas stations.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Maybe they will have it re-built the next time I come to Ohio. Seems like one of those places you HAVE to stop when travelling in a RV. NOT!!!

:) That will be a cold day in hell

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
I have missed my brothers comments! I love you!! If y'all come visit me, we'll take a family pitchure in front of that ghastly monstrosity of very poor taste.

Okay?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mel,
If you come to Ohio, you have to let SB know. I would love to meet you and A for drinks. We could get fucked up and then go make a picture with Jesus. Maybe we could even hold a rainbow flag or something in the picture. I'm up for it. Laugh.

downtown guy said...

You are ON!

gingermagnolia said...

I find it ironic that the "Solid Rock Church" had an idol made of styrofoam.