Friday, October 22, 2010

Dr. Hans Holzer Will Get to Test His Own Theory

Hans Holzer was a famous parapsychologist who died recently. I found his ideas interesting. [I'm not saying I believe this theory (I guess I don't find it more improbable than anything else), just that I find it of interest. Actually, I find anything about the afterlife or parapsychology of interest.]

According to Dr. Holzer [the bad news, in SB's view, is that we can't even escape fucking bureaucracy in death]:

“You’ll notice that the other side of life is a bureaucracy just like this one. You can’t just call Uncle Frank [who’s still living]. You have to get permission from a group of people who call themselves guides – spirit guides. They will say, ‘Why do you want to make contact? What’s your purpose?’ And if they approve of it, they’ll say, ‘Okay, find yourself a medium somewhere, speak with them, and they will make contact for you.’ Or if you’re that strong, you can try to make contact yourself.

“And if you don’t like where you are after a while -- you may have a consciousness that you’ve been there a certain period and feel that you would rather be back on the other side with friends and loved ones. You’ll say, ‘I’d like to get reborn again.’ These are the words I got from them, they’re not my invention. They [the spirits] said you have to go to a line, and you have to register with the clerk. ‘Clerk’ is the word they used. So you get in line and register with the clerk that you want to go back. The clerk says, ‘Okay, I’ll let you know when I find an appropriate couple for you that will advance your development.’ They have no real sense of time, so they just stand there, and eventually the clerk will say, ‘I’ve got a couple for you.’

“There is a well and they [the spirit about to go back] must walk through that well. They call it ‘The Well of Forgetfulness.’ They are sprayed with this water – not 100%, it never quite covers everything. That’s why people have memories, dej√° vu experiences, and recurrent dreams. And then they are a baby again.

“What I have learned in my investigations is that there are seven levels of consciousness on the other side of life that are concentric with our world. It’s not up or down, it’s just concentric. We can’t see it because it moves at a different rate of speed than we move.”

“There’s three levels when you are born. You are born with a physical outer body, a duplicate inner body, and at the very moment of birth – that’s very important – the moment the child is supposed to see the light [during childbirth], that is when the soul or the spirit is inserted from the pool of available spirits from the other side. Therefore all this nonsense about abortion killing a child is pure lies, pure nonsense. The fetus, until the spirit of the child is inserted, is a physical part of the mother. It does not have any life – it’s not a separate entity.”

14 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Well, this is quite interesting although as a bumper sticker I saw the other day said, "I don't know and neither do you." But like you said- this makes as much sense as anyting.

Christiejolu said...

Those are some interesting theories...NO wonder Gabriel hated humans...Look what happened...Now we currupted Heaven too!!!!

Denny Coates said...

I've read this carefully. My conclusion - This guy wasn't just trying to be funny. He actually believed his own bullshit. The capacity of the human mind for this sort of thing is truly amazing.

By the way, it's possible that he WON'T get to prove his theory right or wrong. It is possible, as some believe, that after one breathes his last breath that, well, that's really the end of it and there's nothing more.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Or as the schizophrenic bumper sticker read: I don't know and neither do I.

Laugh.

Chrisiejolu,
Could be, babe.

Denny,
That's what my wise old Uncle Gene believes. When it's over, it's over, baby.

Love to all of youse,

SB

Big Mark 243 said...

Puts the Church out of business, doesn't it?

Jeannie said...

I don't know what the truth is about what happens next, if anything. I don't think ANYONE has it right yet. However, given the fact that every culture seems to experience spirits - or whatever they are - of some sort or another - we certainly don't know everything about THIS life.

I've had some very strange experiences myself and there is definitely something - not all the stories are fake. I'm not saying the interpretation we give such experiences are right either.

Syd said...

I just hope that there is a stimulus package in heaven.

white rabbit said...

There's a book by Will Self you might like called 'How The Dead Live'. There's a weird bureaucracy (called the deathaucracy presided over by an accountant called Mr Cantor) who won't let you be reincarnated until you pay all your taxes.

Death and taxes, eh?

;)

Bethany said...

very interesting....

my wv: bonerled
what the hell kind of blog is this? you dirty bastard.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Big Mark,
That it does.

Jeannie,
It's the last great mystery, babe. I'd love to hear about your experiences. I'm fascinatedd by the afterlife/parapsychology.

Syd.
Laugh. Me too, buddy.

White Rabbit,
That's funny, but depressing as fuck.

Bethany,
That's just great. Perfect! You know I love you and Bo.

The Wit Continuum said...

Holy Shit! That last paragraph! Need I say more?

Love ya,
J

Bina said...

I can only hope when I die, I'm truly dead, not passed on to more problems and bullshit.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jenn,
I think that the Buddhists believe that, too.

Love you!

Bina,
Welcome! I'm with you, girl. Totally.

Parabolic Muse said...

wow.
Well, I'm with you; I totally can get down with some parapsychology. However, for me, I know it's all pretend. But that's just me. Anyway, after hearing about the childbirth factor, I think I know what happened to me.

I probably shouldn't go into it.